Scenes from a Marriage: Christmas Wishes

Nate: (mopping the floor yesterday to prepare for a party) Man, I wish I had asked Santa for a new mop for Christmas.

Luke's Got the Moves Like Jagger

I guess because he's about as skinny as Mick and likes to dance. It doesn't get much more delightful than to hear Luke singing this song throughout his day--as he plays in the sandbox, on the trampoline, at dinner...

Santa trap

Last night, Luke set out a trap for Santa. He put a bunch of balls behind his door, so "Santa would fall and break his butt."

It was cute for the first couple hours, but now that both Mom and Dad have almost fallen and broken their butts, the cuteness has worn off.

In the Middle of the Night...

So, Asher and Emmeline inherited the freaky Curtis characteristic of being able to wake up bright-eyed early every morning.

This, of course, was my worst fear when I started having kids. When Asher started doing it at about 9 months, I was told that these 4:30-5:30 am wake-ups were probably something he'd outgrow. He hasn't, and now, Emma has joined in the fun.

But, I had a brilliant idea about a month ago. The rule before a month ago was that Asher had to stay in his room until 6 am doing something quiet (so as not to wake up Luke), and then, he could leave his room and find some quiet toys to play with. He'd always get antsy by about 6:30, and I'd have to get up with him.

With Emma waking up so early, I told Asher that he can go get Emma when she wakes up, and the two of them can go down to the play room. He can watch TV or play XBox as long as she's happy.

The first few weeks, Asher couldn't keep her happy for more than 15 minutes, but now, Asher and Emma hang out in that room for a good hour or um, sometimes, an hour and a half.

I don't know what he does to keep her happy and frankly, I don't much care. I'm delighted to wake up around 6:30 or 7 most mornings now.

Gardening in November

Nate got me an early Christmas present this year when he laid out the other half of our garden (on the left).

I had high hopes of Emma being able to hang out with me while I planted the garden this morning. Alas, she was as helpful with this home improvement project as she is with every other one I try to do with her.

And, our dirt must be really tasty because all of my kids seem to really enjoy eating it.

Asher's babysitting

Asher was watching Emma in the backyard while I was making dinner the other night. His report:

"Emma loves flying on the trampoline."

And, "I tried to put Emma on top of the hammock, but she ended up underneath it."

Luke on Church

Today, we were eating lunch, sort of the calm before the storm when we all get ready for church.

I was trying to have a pleasant conversation to set the tone for getting ready for church, so I said to Luke, "What's your favorite thing about church?"

Luke said, "I don't have a favorite thing about church." (pause) "But, I do like it when my dad and I stay home and don't go!"

Also, this picture? Luke staged it one morning while everyone was getting ready for school. He got out all his favorite stuffed animals, set them on the dining room table, found me, got my camera, and had me take this picture.

Something Good

Emma and Luke think this video from Grammy is awesome...



Grammy says the dog reminds her of Luke--always busy finding something to entertain himself.

The Running Dead

Zombies hate fast food!
Zombies are were people, too.
Zombies never call shotgun.
Zombies only want you for your brains.

We also realized at about 7 pm Friday that we should have totally used The Rules from Zombieland(note: this links to clips with some swearing), but IMHO, they are far more practical than these Rules.
P.S. Some of us are doing the Del Sol Ragnar, February 24-25. We still have a couple spots left on the team. Let me know if you'd like to join us.

Happy Halloween from Emma the Bumble Bee

Rachel, my sister, had the cutest ladybug costume I could have borrowed because she's generous like that, but for some reason, I had it in my head that Emma had to be a bumble bee. Poor thing hated getting put in the car seat because of the full scratchy skirt, and I didn't get it together to get her antennas. Still, with that smile, I think she pulled it off. (And, yes, that's a toilet seat in the background from Nate's 2008 Halloween costume when he was the economy at the beginning of the recession. I don't know why I don't just throw it away.)

We're transitioning from 2 to 1 naps right now, so I'll need to keep these pictures around for 4 pm every day when she's so, so tired and miserable.

We went to see the grandparents, and then, the boys went trick or treating. I expected Emma to go to bed, but she was perfectly happy to sit on my lap and hand out candy. Except that she never did figure out to let the candy go. She'd pick up some candy, hover over a trick or treat bag, and then, just put her hand and the candy back down.

I think we'll be in trouble when she actually figures out what's IN the candy bags.

Happy Halloween from Darth Vader

Like his desire to take naps until he was 5, Asher's early decision making skills and his complete independence regarding Halloween costume totally spoiled me and has me scratching my head that Luke won't be so accommodating.

Seriously, every year, Asher announces in the beginning of October what he wants to be totally on his own and keeps with that decision for the whole month.

Might I point out that last year, I wanted to do a Star Wars theme and Asher refused to be any sort of Star Wars character?

Happy Halloween from Thor/Obi Won

Luke totally wanted to be Thor for Halloween (after he insisted on being a Thor/Woody/clown hybrid, we told him that it wouldn't be possible to wear all those costumes at once and he had a major meltdown for about 3 days every time Halloween was mentioned). So, once he settled on just being Thor for a couple days, we got this costume at Target complete with Thor's mighty hammer.

The day after he got the hammer, I let him take it school. His teacher was nice about it, but clearly, not so happy, and when I told Nate, he said, "What were you thinking?!"

(Seriously, I have no idea. I guess I was thinking, "Here, Luke, take this big hammer to preschool. No kid would ever figure out within 10 seconds of holding that hammer what an awesome game it would be to run around smacking each other on the head for 4 hours.")

But, then, on Halloween, Luke put on his Thor costume for school and freaked out because it was covered with little spider webs. You know the polyester stuffing they use to pad the muscles on those costumes? Luke saw a few stray ones poking out of his chest and was convinced the costume was dirty. He ran to the bathroom sink and got the costume completely soaked. And, wouldn't ya know, those fibers still stick up, even when everything else is completely drenched.

Fortunately, Luke didn't wear the costume he insisted on getting last year, Obi Won Kenobi. At the last minute last year, he decided the costume was too messy (it has some tunic hanging parts on it), so he was Woody for the second straight year. With minutes to spare before carpool, Luke got the Obi Won costume on and was happy.

I told him I'd wash the Thor costume while he was at school, but I got nervous about washing all that synthetic fabric, so I just told him I washed it and tried to pick out all the stray fibers. It didn't fool Luke. Luckily, he was quite content to put Obi Won back on that night for trick or treating, which meant that for the first time ever, our family had a quasi-theme Halloween:

Aunt Rachel would be so proud...

Ragnar

I love this picture because it shows two things I did this year: bore a child and completed the Ragnar.

Of course, I couldn't have done either without Nate. We realized pretty early on in our Ragnar training that only one of us could do this. It's a big time commitment to train, and unfortunately, 24 Hour Fitness does not offer 24 hour childcare. Nate took the kids lots of mornings, evenings, weekends, and vacations so I could train (though there were plenty of days when I didn't want to).

Judy was also a huge help. If a kid (or kids) were sick and couldn't go to the gym, Judy would take them while I ran.

And, then, Judy and Nate did a massive push, watching the kids in Las Vegas for a full 30 hours. (Did I mention that Nate was our nighttime driver, too?)

They did a lot of this:
In fact, I'm not sure who got more of a workout in Vegas.

I'm also really grateful to Dave and Jessica who convinced me that I could do this race. I found a new workout option that I like, and this is the first time in my life that I've physically pushed myself to reach a goal. It feels pretty awesome.

We had a great team--full of expert runners who were nice enough to let me tag along.Some day, I'll stop bragging about it...really!

Anyone want to do the Del Sol Ragnar in February?

Staying on Top of Your Elementary-Age Games

Asher: Evan, do you want to play "Rock, Paper, Scissors, Axe, Copper?"
Me: I've only ever heard of "Rock, Paper, Scissors," Asher. What does the axe do?
Asher: The axe gets rock, paper, and scissors, but not copper.
Me: Well what does copper do?
Asher: Copper gets EVERYTHING.

Ok, good to know!

The Best Birth Control Post Ever

This is my side of the conversation that Luke and I had today while I was in the bathroom, trying to shave my legs and he decided to come in and go poop.

“Luke, don’t forget to wipe your bottom.”

“Eeew, Luke, not with your hand!”

“Yeah, just use the babywipe.”

“Wait! Don’t throw the babywipe in the toilet! That will break the toilet!”

“Luke, there’s still lots of poop on the babywipe. That means your bottom still isn’t clean.”

“NO!! Don’t throw the other babywipe in the toilet!”

“Ok, now, wash your hands.”

“Luke, that wasn’t long enough. If your hands still smell like poop, they aren’t clean.”

“Yeah, I know they still smell like poop. I don’t need to check. Wash them with soap this time.”

Crazy Kids...

Asher was thrilled about our church's General Conference last weekend. He's been asking every Sunday since April if we could "just watch Church on tv like we did that one Sunday."

Luke informed me today that "the green ones are going to destroy our world." I can't get him to be anymore specific than that. Sorry for the bad news...

Emma is learning a few words: mama, dada, up, woof, and uh-oh.
Of course, if you ask her what a doggy says, she says, "Uh, oh."

(In these pictures, Emma really hopes someone will rescue her after a Monday evening of fun, but no, we just kept taking pictures of her.)

Bright and Early

Emma has this great new habit...like her brother and her dad, Emma likes to wake up early. About 5 am to be exact.

Of course, this means that by 7 am, while I'm trying to get things up and running in the morning, Emma is ready to go back to bed, crawling around the house crying.

But, at 5 am, she's just as pleasant as can be. At 4:30 am, we usually pull her into our bed, give her a bottle, say a little prayer that she'll go back to sleep. She does, for a bit.

On Monday (Labor Day--holiday--hello?), Emma woke up at 5 and was all wiggly in the bed, so I put her on the ground. She promptly crawled to her brothers' room and squealed as she climbed up on their bed to "pat" them awake.

Sometimes, I feel like our children plan assaults like this on us just to let us know who's in charge.

Luke and God's Plan

For our upcoming church primary kids' program, Luke was given a part, "I can follow God's plan by [fill in the blank]."

Nate and I are worried that he'll get to the pulpit, decide to be funny and say one of his two favorite "bad" words. "Poopy diaper" or "boobies."

So, we've been working on helping Luke fill in the blank. Here are some of the "blanks" Luke has offerred:
I can follow God's plan by:
eating marshmallows
eating dinner
eating bananas
speaking English (?!)
playing with trains
poopy diaper (we all knew that was coming, didn't we?)
giving hugs

So, we're going with, "I can follow God's plan by giving hugs." Fingers crossed that he'll actually say it come the big day.

The End of the Line

With Asher in first grade and Luke in preschool from 9 to 1 pm, 5 days a week, it's just Emma and me at lunch now. We like to have scrambled eggs together since one brother is allergic and the other just wishes he was.

As I look at this picture, I have to admit that it still amazes me that I ended up with 3 children with brown hair and brown eyes. I was sure #3 would have my eyes at least. And, how did 2 of those children get dimples? And, 2 with olive skin, and 1 who loves math and computers?

Genetics is a strange game, I guess...

Love notes

At "Meet the Teacher" night, I put this note in Asher's crayon box. He proudly brought this back to me a week later with his note back to me. I'll admit that I got a little choked up.

Your Car is Awesome!

This picture taken at Luke's preschool's picture day last April (I know, I'm behind on blogging. Sigh...) made me laugh out loud.

Could there be a post more unnatural for our Lukey boy?

This picture has nothing to do with the pose, I just couldn't keep it to myself.

Last week, Luke, Emma, and I had to do some errands downtown. So, we were driving, and Luke said, "Mom, look at that awesome, awesome car."

It was some sort of 1960's classic Camero looking car (um, let me point out, I know NOTHING about cars. That's my best shot at a description.). It was grey with some red stripes on it.

Luke said, "I want to talk to those guys. Roll down my window."

I looked, and they were two men, about my age, probably, driving with the windows down (which means their classic car had no air conditioning, and it was 111 degrees that day), mopping their faces with a towel.

We're all stopped at a stop light, and I figure it'll probably make the guys' day or at the worst, they'll ignore Luke.

So, I get ready to roll down Luke's window when he says, "Wait, Mom. I have to put on my sunglasses."

Luke gets on his Buzz Lightyear sunglasses and says, "I'm ready."

I roll down the window, and Luke gets shy.

Then, he yells, "Hello! My name is Lukey boy!" right as the light changes.

The men smile at him and are getting ready to drive off, so I roll down my window and say, "My son wants to tell you that you have an awesome, awesome car."

The men smile, wave at Luke, and drive off.

And, Luke still wants to know when we're going to see "those guys" again.

I Hate to Complain...

But, in the last month,

1) my husband broke my phone
2) Southwest broke my computer (Nate saved it)
3) my email was hacked--how many times?
4) and all my jewelry except for my wedding ring, earrings, and watch that I was wearing while the burglars broke in.

Sigh...

Luke Loves Cookies

"Look, Mom...they have cookie robots at the grocery store!"

End-of-Summer Report

So here we are at the end of another long, long Arizona summer. And by end, I mean school starts this week. The temperature will still be above 100 degrees every day for a month or more.

This summer we learned many important things in the Clyde Curtis family
1. Listen to the doctor. Don't exercise 3 days after getting a vascetomy.
2. Garmin lies.
3. Emily's tolerance for summer vacation is exactly 1 week shorter than summer vacation.
4. Nate's tolerance for summer vacation is approximately 2 months and 21 days shorter than summer vacation.
5. Babies can survive for long periods of time on less than 2 hours of sleep a night.
6. Strawberries do grow in Phoenix.
7. Blueberries do not grow in Phoenix.
8. Emily can make a wicked strawberry jam.
9. The best way to ensure that Nates' work stays busy is to schedule vacations that Nate commits to attending.
10. Swimming makes Luke poop.
11. Water parks and Luke are a very very bad combination.
12. Asher can make himself lunch while dribbling a basketball.
13. Three kids is just like having two kids except there is an extra kid, and no extra parents which makes it alot harder to do anything.
14. We have an incredibly cool extended family.

Thanks to everyone who played with us this summer. Glad its over, and can't wait until next year.

Strawberry Fields Forever

We've had the most amazing luck with our strawberries this summer! I can't believe I've been harvesting a pint or two a week for all of June and most of July.

Too bad they're only good in jam (those strawberries aren't a bit sweet).

Staycation Disasters

Maybe we won't try a staycation again...

Loosing Luke at the water park--twice.

Waiting an hour to eating dinner at a very expensive and not well air-conditioned resturant


Nate almost getting arrested while watching fireworks


Walking 25 minutes with 3 kids to the breakfast buffet only to find out it was closed and moved to the main lobby of the resort...a 30 minute walk

Luke pooping on the pool deck after we had checked out of our hotel room and handing Emma to some strangers at the pool while Luke and I ran around to try and find a bathroom.


Asher needing to poop 5 minutes after returning Luke.

Summertime Messes

When it's super hot outside, I guess we all make messes...

I let Asher and Luke decorate the mirror with these Thomas the Train stickers. We've played with some before and they don't stick on anything. These are different ones.

I've spent 20 minutes, a bottle of goo remover, and I got off 8 stickers.

I think Emma wins for making the cutest mess, which is good because she makes this mess three times a day.

Praise for Uncle Dave

Luke's unsolicited assement of his uncle:

Uncle Dave is the bestest party ever!
He kills monsters
And bad guys
And monsters
And bad guys

You Know It's Going to Be a Long Day When...

Luke has a tantrum because you offer him pancakes for breakfast. HE DOES NOT WANT PANCAKES!!!

Then, he comes out of his room 20 minutes later, tantrum free, to have some pancakes.

Except that his brother ate all the pancakes while Luke was pouting.

I'll let you guess what happened next.

(This is a picture of Luke with his "trophy," a weird spoon he found in one of Nate's auction purchases.)

Field Trip with Asher

So, I went to chaperone Asher's speech therapy class' field trip to the airport today.

Asher was horrible--not listening to me, hitting me and his friends. Pretty much acting like the girls I used to work with as a residential counselor in Boston, except I didn't have 3 other adults to help me manage a restraint.

He had a time out in the bus. He had a time out where I just held him and he screamed and everyone looked at us. I took away every privilege I could think of.

(The kids in my group hugged me and told me I was a good mom. That's how awful I looked--5 year olds were ready to comfort me.)

Asher finally turned around his behavior (kind of) so he could try and earn back his privileges and fell asleep on the bus ride home.

He woke up and said, "So, do I get my privileges back?"

And, I said, "Yes, but you know what, Asher? I'm not going to go on another field trip with you. You hit me and were mean to me, and I didn't have a fun time."

Asher's response, "But I got my privileges back, right?"

Buddy Bear and Asher

For a school project, each kid in Asher's kindergarten class took home "Buddy Bear" for a week, wrote about their adventures with him, and took some pictures of what they did together.

I was a little horrified (given our school's tendency to have lice outbreaks and my general germ-phobias) to see children sleeping with Buddy Bear, eating with Buddy Bear, playing at parks with Buddy Bear while I touched Buddy Bear and realized that if he had ever been washed, he would fall apart.

But, I tried to be a good mom, and we had a picture with Luke and Asher having ice cream with Buddy Bear, and then, I tried to be really brave and let Asher read a book to Buddy Bear and Emma.

Imagine my surprise when I downloaded this picture (and a few others), which show Emma munching on Buddy Bear. Sigh...

Baby Asher/Baby Emma giggles

Emma and Luke Love Each Other

And, Asher and Emma love each other, too.

Luke's birthday

When Asher was 3, he got to have a big, fun birthday party at the train park. So, I planned on doing the same for Luke when he turned 3.

But, when Luke turned 3, his mom was in her first trimester of pregnancy. March came and went without a thought to planning a big, fun party for Luke.

So, we tried to make it up to Luke when he turned 4 by having a big jungle-themed party. Doing trains has sort of been a passion Luke picked up from Asher, but animals? Well, Luke has always loved him some animals.

We had Jungle Jill come and she let the kids pet and hold animals. She was fabulous. Seriously, hire her for the 8 and under set. I'm glad we waited a year. Luke's social behavior has come a long way, and I think he enjoyed the party much more this way.

Thankfully, Jessica took pictures of the party. (My kids owe just about all photographic documentation of their lives to Jessica and my sister, Rachel.)

For our family birthday dinner, Luke picked the menu: Mamma Mia's pizza, salad (ok, I picked that), and strawberries. Then, he asked for vanilla cupcakes with chocolate frosting for dessert (and I thought chocolate cream cheese frosting would be that much better.

Asher's birthday

I decided that having children 9 days apart means that the boys will get a party every other year (Emma will, too, to be fair). One kid gets a party and another kid gets to take 2 friends to do "something fun."

I have to say I think I'll always prefer the "something fun" event. It's fun to let the kid plan the whole time...maybe not as much fun to experience the whole time.

Asher decided he wanted to go see Rango with his two best friends, Mary and Natalie. And, we went to McDonald's before Rango and got Happy Meals (Asher, look! Documentation that I did, indeed, once buy you a Happy Meal.) Mary got Asher a "Cootie" game, which the whole family has enjoyed, and Natalie got Asher 8 puzzles and made him a crown.

Asher also got a much-anticipated bow and arrow. Apparently, the Curtis men are pretty good at shooting those things.

And, for our family birthday dinner, Asher picked his own dinner: spaghetti with meat sauce, berries, roasted broccoli and juice boxes.

He requested a chocolate cake with vanilla frosting.

Asher and Luke's Favorite YouTube

If only we had a Darth Vader helmet...

Emmeline's new favorite song

She thinks it's laugh out loud awesome!

A response to the "Love Poem" (really? that is your definition of romantic)

Alas, complain and whine is all I hear while the mice continue to instill their fear;

You read the books, blogs, and sites, you know now that in this plight,

there is nothing more that can be done, until the mice have had their fun.

I do catch them one, two, three. I do smash them with no glee.

But for all your feminist pomp, you won't man-up and give those mice a stomp.

So please kill them, in my lieu, with a trap, or poison, or a hammer will do.

I still snare more, four, five, six, soon there will be no mice to scare.

When that day comes, patch holes I will, attics, vents, it will be a thrill

But until then, please give it a rest, I am doing all anyone can to rid your life of these pests.

Scenes from a Marriage: Setting Boundaries

Emily: So, I'll be visiting Sister R now.

Nate: You know that'll take 3-4 hours out of your week just being on the phone with her.

Jessica: Emily, why did you do that?!

Emily: Well, someone has to be assigned to her who can set boundaries so she won't walk all over them.

Jessica and Nate look at each other and laugh.

Nate the Great: a love poem (kind of)

A poem for my husband who insists on taking care of our mice infestation himself. Inspired by a nighttime reading of Green Eggs and Ham.

Nate is Great
Great is Nate

That Nate the Great
That Nate the Great
How I love that Nate the Great!
But he does not appreciate
My fear of mice and their mates*

I hate mice as they race
to corrupt, infest my space

Do they live inside the roof?
Yes, and they are not aloof.

Would you like them in your wall?
One died in there—quite the gall!

Crackers cookies, bread gnawed through
No wonder there is so much poo!

Would you like them eating fruit?
(They ate it all; the point is moot.)

Would you like them in the flour?
They chewed the lid with so much power!

In my closet, with such glee
I know they wait to devour me.

Would you like them in your bra?
Find poop there and shout, “Hurrah!”

Do you know they love my feathers?
Strew them with such obvious pleasure?

They live in walls and under chairs.
I swear they are the size of bears.

Nate the Great, dear Nate the Great
Now is the time: EXTERMINATE!
Clorox wipes have been divine
But, using them takes such time.

Think, (as I clean the poop and pee)
The Bubonic Plague came with their fleas.

Let’s kill them when they eat our fruit,
Let’s get rid of all that poop.
Out of flour, feathers, grains
Oh my gosh, they’re SUCH A PAIN!

In my bra, the roof, the wall
The mice believe they’ll conquer all.

But we can win, my dear, you’ll see
No need to feel we’re up a tree.

We’ll call a service that takes care
of this problem that makes friends scared.

They’ll come and plug holes mice have made.
When they do, let’s have a parade!

And others too will shout and cheer,
Perhaps even offer beer!
When you choose to obliterate
All our mice (with their mates).

*and their babies, too, 4-5 litters per year, scurrying around in the walls and attics, each dropping 25,000 dropping in their lifetime, but let’s not go there.

Someday I'll Think This is Funny

So, I haven't wanted to blog about this (because if you don't blog about a problem then it's not true--does anyone else do this? note: this is also why I haven't said much about Luke's potty training), but we have a rodent infestation. Nate will say they're mice; I suspect they are, too, but I'm not sure.

We've killed 9 since December, including 1 in the wall. (Note: don't poison the rodents IN your house.)

I'm completely neurotic, trying to make enough noise to scare them away, and up until a few weeks ago, they stayed in the kitchen and pantry.

Then, they started to get brave. We'd see one scurry across the kitchen floor early in the evening while we were in the living room.

The final straw came one night when Luke and I were watching Enchanted. So, there's the part where Gezel calls all the New York animals to her, right? I'm watching her sing out the apartment window when I swear I see a mouse run into my room, under my dresser.

I think, "Now, you're crazy, Emily...seeing a mouse just as Gezel calls to them."

So, we continue watching the show, and I get up to go to the bathroom. I come back and see a mouse running back under the dresser from my bed.

Sigh...

Blue Steel or Asher's Versatility

Right after Christmas, we did a family photo shoot, which will show you why I seriously dread taking pictures of my family. Though, I'll admit I am completely amazed at Asher's versatility in striking all manner of irritating poses. I swear the kid must have been up late at night, googling "how to make your mom crazy at a photo shoot." (Stella, you've got your work cut out for you this fall!)

This is the picture when we gave Luke drugs...
Dr. Evil--or is it Mini-Me?

Vampire Asher Seriously, does he think this is a pose?

I don't even know what to say here.

Laughing at his "real" family (Rachel, Corey, Evan, Cora, and Jasper)

I think he might be looking over my should when I read Fashion for Nerds (though, Audi pulls off this pose better than Asher)

Evan is awesome at photos; here Asher is tempting him not to choose the right...

Seriously?!

I hope this made you more grateful for your family photos. Me, I'm going to go hit my head against a wall for a bit.