Sunday, February 27, 2011

Asher and Luke's Favorite YouTube

If only we had a Darth Vader helmet...

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Emmeline's new favorite song

She thinks it's laugh out loud awesome!

Friday, February 11, 2011

A response to the "Love Poem" (really? that is your definition of romantic)

Alas, complain and whine is all I hear while the mice continue to instill their fear;

You read the books, blogs, and sites, you know now that in this plight,

there is nothing more that can be done, until the mice have had their fun.

I do catch them one, two, three. I do smash them with no glee.

But for all your feminist pomp, you won't man-up and give those mice a stomp.

So please kill them, in my lieu, with a trap, or poison, or a hammer will do.

I still snare more, four, five, six, soon there will be no mice to scare.

When that day comes, patch holes I will, attics, vents, it will be a thrill

But until then, please give it a rest, I am doing all anyone can to rid your life of these pests.

Scenes from a Marriage: Setting Boundaries

Emily: So, I'll be visiting Sister R now.

Nate: You know that'll take 3-4 hours out of your week just being on the phone with her.

Jessica: Emily, why did you do that?!

Emily: Well, someone has to be assigned to her who can set boundaries so she won't walk all over them.

Jessica and Nate look at each other and laugh.

Nate the Great: a love poem (kind of)

A poem for my husband who insists on taking care of our mice infestation himself. Inspired by a nighttime reading of Green Eggs and Ham.

Nate is Great
Great is Nate

That Nate the Great
That Nate the Great
How I love that Nate the Great!
But he does not appreciate
My fear of mice and their mates*

I hate mice as they race
to corrupt, infest my space

Do they live inside the roof?
Yes, and they are not aloof.

Would you like them in your wall?
One died in there—quite the gall!

Crackers cookies, bread gnawed through
No wonder there is so much poo!

Would you like them eating fruit?
(They ate it all; the point is moot.)

Would you like them in the flour?
They chewed the lid with so much power!

In my closet, with such glee
I know they wait to devour me.

Would you like them in your bra?
Find poop there and shout, “Hurrah!”

Do you know they love my feathers?
Strew them with such obvious pleasure?

They live in walls and under chairs.
I swear they are the size of bears.

Nate the Great, dear Nate the Great
Now is the time: EXTERMINATE!
Clorox wipes have been divine
But, using them takes such time.

Think, (as I clean the poop and pee)
The Bubonic Plague came with their fleas.

Let’s kill them when they eat our fruit,
Let’s get rid of all that poop.
Out of flour, feathers, grains
Oh my gosh, they’re SUCH A PAIN!

In my bra, the roof, the wall
The mice believe they’ll conquer all.

But we can win, my dear, you’ll see
No need to feel we’re up a tree.

We’ll call a service that takes care
of this problem that makes friends scared.

They’ll come and plug holes mice have made.
When they do, let’s have a parade!

And others too will shout and cheer,
Perhaps even offer beer!
When you choose to obliterate
All our mice (with their mates).

*and their babies, too, 4-5 litters per year, scurrying around in the walls and attics, each dropping 25,000 dropping in their lifetime, but let’s not go there.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Someday I'll Think This is Funny

So, I haven't wanted to blog about this (because if you don't blog about a problem then it's not true--does anyone else do this? note: this is also why I haven't said much about Luke's potty training), but we have a rodent infestation. Nate will say they're mice; I suspect they are, too, but I'm not sure.

We've killed 9 since December, including 1 in the wall. (Note: don't poison the rodents IN your house.)

I'm completely neurotic, trying to make enough noise to scare them away, and up until a few weeks ago, they stayed in the kitchen and pantry.

Then, they started to get brave. We'd see one scurry across the kitchen floor early in the evening while we were in the living room.

The final straw came one night when Luke and I were watching Enchanted. So, there's the part where Gezel calls all the New York animals to her, right? I'm watching her sing out the apartment window when I swear I see a mouse run into my room, under my dresser.

I think, "Now, you're crazy, Emily...seeing a mouse just as Gezel calls to them."

So, we continue watching the show, and I get up to go to the bathroom. I come back and see a mouse running back under the dresser from my bed.


Blue Steel or Asher's Versatility

Right after Christmas, we did a family photo shoot, which will show you why I seriously dread taking pictures of my family. Though, I'll admit I am completely amazed at Asher's versatility in striking all manner of irritating poses. I swear the kid must have been up late at night, googling "how to make your mom crazy at a photo shoot." (Stella, you've got your work cut out for you this fall!)

This is the picture when we gave Luke drugs...
Dr. Evil--or is it Mini-Me?

Vampire Asher Seriously, does he think this is a pose?
I don't even know what to say here.
Laughing at his "real" family (Rachel, Corey, Evan, Cora, and Jasper)
I think he might be looking over my should when I read Fashion for Nerds (though, Audi pulls off this pose better than Asher)

Evan is awesome at photos; here Asher is tempting him not to choose the right...

I hope this made you more grateful for your family photos. Me, I'm going to go hit my head against a wall for a bit.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Better Late than Never

I figured Valentine's Day was my last day to reasonably expect to be part of the "holiday season" group. Yet, I had such high hopes for getting these out by Christmas with a note about how this season we are celebrating the birth of two lambs and include the poem by William Blake.

Wouldn't I have looked smart and on top of it?

But, really, I'm just lazy, so I combined Emma's birth announcements as a holiday card and with thank you notes written on the back and stayed up until midnight the past 2 nights to get them done.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Delightful Emma

With those cheeks, that double chin, and that smile, I must admit that I'm completely smitten.


A few weeks before Emma was due, Asher and Luke won 3 goldfish (Thomas, James, and Gordon) at a birthday party. We kept them in their cups, thinking they'd die.

But, they didn't, so about 3 days later, Nate got the fish a pretty swanky tank, some plastic plants, and neon colored rocks. The boys were thrilled. Well, they were a little sad when James died--Nate forgot to check the temperature before he dropped the first fish in the new tank. We still feel bad about that.

This past weekend, we realized the tank was getting a little scuzzy. That's when we learned that we were supposed to clean the filter every 2 weeks (remember Emma is 2 months old now). So, Nate cleaned out the tank, bought some real plants and let the boys pick a feature for the tank. They chose the volcano over the castle, so now, I can't resist saying "Shark bait, who-ha-ha," every time I walk past it.

I think they're decent pets. They don't make a mess or get into my stuff. In fact, if they just took care of the mice, I wouldn't see a need to ever get a pet with fur.