Thursday, April 9, 2009

The Celebrity Life

Sometimes, I compare myself to celebrity moms who have kids the same age as my kids(because Gwen Stefani and I are SO similar--I mean we both have 2 boys, we pay someone to make us blonde, and...um...I guess that's where the similarities end).

And, I occasionally get all bummed that I'm not as skinny as they are--like when Denise Richards and I had babies days apart, and then, 6 weeks later, she was modeling for Playboy when I was thinking, "Whoohoo! Size 10 here I come!" (Ok, that's a lie; it wasn't 6 weeks...it was 6 months.)

I guess I felt bad because Playboy didn't ask me to model for them.

So, I'd been hearing all this talk about Gwenyth Paltrow's Goop newsletter and went to check it out. I heard she had some recipes on there, and I'm always looking for something tasty to make. I'm so glad I did because I now realize why I'll never be as thin as a celebrity.

Clearly, I just don't have the dedication.

Like I'm going to consume half a cup of castor oil to loose a few pounds? I've never been that desperate even when I was pregnant and hoped it might start labor. And, I don't think I could eat most of those soups without, the remedy my friend, Sara, suggested with her wheatgrass experiment--a handful of chocolate chips to get the soup's taste out of my mouth.

I think I'll go and enjoy some Cadbury eggs, and I'll have an extra handful in honor of you, Gwenyth, because that's the kind of big-hearted (and big-bottomed) gal I am.

(I'll also try your biscuit recipe because it did look like a winner, and really, when I sound snotty, it's because I'm totally jealous. I mean the closest thing I have to a Coldplay concert is when my pre-teen piano students play "Clocks" for me.)

8 comments:

Kate said...

I hadn't ever heard of Goop. So interesting. And here I was thinking I'm doing pretty well because I've been exercising for 30 minutes 6 days a week for just over two weeks now (and still eating lots of chocolate). I guess some of us never were meant to be celebrities. ;)

Jessica said...

Em,
It still cracks me up how you are so into celebrities.
You should give yourself a break.
You look great, feel great, and your kids follow you around like the paparazzi!

You are seriously famous.

Adriana said...

Hiliarious! Yeah, I am pretty sure I was never meant to be in that crowd! what's even worse than a celebrity is to have your Mom and Sister sad because they are in between a four and a six! :( Not's so much fun to go shopping with them :D J/K , but still!
Eat the Cadburry's (they are only around once a year) :D

Adriana said...

oh, yeah, just remember that she is an AWFUL Dancer! first one to get kicked dwths, even the geek beat her :D
so we can't have everything :D

Adrianne said...

if i was a celebrity mom someone else would be cleaning my house and watching meg (who is currently in the bath- don't worry I can hear the mess she is making from here). And I am sure I wouldn't have dared go public this am having not washed my hair since tuesday! (don't worry- I'll get there some time today)

Heather said...

So so hilarious. I too am fixated on my celebrity gestation sisters, like Madonna (Jonah & Lourdes) and Jennifer Garner. I am also slightly fixated on two children of celebs that I aligned with as a kid: Chastity Bono & Lisa Marie Presley. It was always weird to look at the Ntl Engquirer and think that in some alternate universe that could be me. How dorky am I?

laurie said...

Okay, this post cracked me up! THANKS!

sara said...

Oh this cracks me up!