Day Three: Horror Movie in the Making

Today was...interesting.
I got to bed at 12:00am (work again, no games). Both boys stayed down all night, or at least until I went to bed.

The only way I can describe the experience I had last night was like some strange cross between Clockwork Orange and the Shining. At 3:00am I startled awake, sure that I had heard something. I am a notoriously paranoid sleeper. Emily is always very careful to wake me, because I have lept out of bed at her, convinced she is trying to do something sneaky. One time, I even punched a room mate in the face who was trying to wake me up. I don't know why I do this, just weird me.

Add to this oddity that I have sleep apnea. This means I sleep with a clockwork orange-like mask at night that forces air into my nose and mouth so I don't suffocate myself (I know, TMA, but its necessary to set the stage).

So here I am, suddenly awake at 3am with my freaky star wars deathmask on. I know something is wrong, but I don't want to make any sudden movements because whatever danger is in the house thinks I am asleep, therefore I have the element of surprise until I move (yes, this is really how my mind works when I wake up unexpectedly).

Carefully feeling around, I find a warm body in bed with me. I am relieved, surely Asher or Luke simply wandered into our room, and woke me as they were getting into bed. I lift my head to confirm, and there is Asher lying next to me, wide awake, just looking at me. FREAKY!!! But at least he had left Emily's pajamas in his room.

So I scoot over a bit to give him room, and find another warm body, I look over and there is Thor lying on my other side, wide awake, just looking at me (now you see where the Shining comes in here). I felt an appropriate solution to this very awkward situation was to put both boys back in their room, get out the shotgun and lock my bedroom door, which I did.

As I lay there, unable to sleep, pondering the oddity of what had happened, I realized that both boys were awake before I woke up. Neither moved or said anything to me when I started moving around. Even now, just thinking about it gives me the heebie jeebies.

5:30.00am: "Hi dad, its light out. Do I have to go to school today?"
5:30.05am: "Dad, can I go play Hot Wheels?"
5:50.00am: "Dad, I need help, can you come play Hot Wheels with me?"
6:03.00am: "MOMMY!! Where are you Mommy?!"

Apparently we were all pretending like the freakshow of 3:00am never happend.

I am not sure what those two are strategizing, but I am fairly certain that I am not part of their 5-year plan. I would like to go to sleep tonight, but I am frightened of what they are going to do.

Going to work never felt so good, so safe.

Work is really blowing up bad. My boss wasn't kidding about going to LA this week. I am canceling the vacation days I was planning on taking wens - fri. We simply have more work, and too tight of deadlines for me to risk it. Even now it is 1:00am, I just finished the report thats due tomorrow, and have several more projects waiting that are due by the end of the week or early next week.

So if you are one of those gracious people who told me you would be willing to help, now would be a good time to not answer your phone. Seriously, I am going to have to pay someone to watch my kids later this week. If anyone wants to make some money, and doesn't have a criminal record that disallows them from being alone with children (Mark, this means you) give me a call, I will make it worth your while.

At least the Suns are having a rougher week than I am.

Daily Stats:
Bedtime: 8:00pm (I think I have this part down now)
Breakfast: 2 cold hot dogs for asher, and a mango. Thor - 1.5 banana muffins (he almost choked out on the other 0.5. I had to dig it out of his throat so he could resume breathing) After this close call Thor looked me with a puzzled expression for a few moments, as if something was seriously amiss, and then said, "thank you mommy" and wandered off to find something equally or more dangerous to put in his mouth. I guess, dads are not supposed to do the important things, like save you from choking on your breakfast.
Dinner: Mother-in-law provided another wonderful meal which everyone loved except Thor. Thor later on ate a bagel, cheese, and other assorted scavangings 5 minutes before I put him to bed (I think he is going to make a break for it tonight).

Quote of the day: "Asher, can I come to school with you on Wednesday?"
Asher's response: "Maybe. If you can be good from now until then we will see."

Most important number 12 - the number of times I told people what an amazing mother-in-law I have. She really is the best one I have ever had.