Ob-la-di, ob-la-da

Dear American Association of Pediatrics

2012-02-01T10:53:00.001-08:00

Dear American Association of Pediatrics,

You know, I didn't handle the whole "no cold medicine for kids under 6" all that well a few years ago. And, now, we have to keep toddlers backward facing in carseats until they're 2?

I feel like you're out to get me. You come put my 25 pound baby in her carseat for the next 10 months, ok?

Sincerely,
The mom who's been up all night with a 4 year old with a cold

Even Her Poop Doesn't Smell

2012-01-31T13:03:00.000-08:00

My lovely friend, D'Arcy, took these pictures long ago. Aren't they awesome?

Phoenix friends, she'll come down to do photo sessions if we can get enough people to book her :)

And, the title of this post conveys a significant problem I had with Emmeline until a few months ago. The girl's poop didn't smell, which was great until she got a diaper rash because I didn't know she was poopy. This used to happen pretty frequently until she was about a year.

Once she became a year, she started getting all this attitude--she'll roll her eyes, I'll often hear her say, "No, no, no, Yuke," when Luke has been at school for a couple hours, and she insists on bottles of milk in the middle of the night. I can't stop thinking about her teeth.

Did I mention all this coincides with her poop starting to smell?
Coincidence?

(Sorry, D'Arcy, your photos shouldn't be linked to a post about poop.)

The Thermostat

2012-01-31T12:59:00.000-08:00

Asher was cold on Sunday morning so he set the thermostat to 90 before we left for church, came home to an 89 degree house and gave him a lecture about not touching the thermostat.

Five minutes later, Nathaniel comes from the bedroom and says, "Did you turn the air conditioner on to 58 degrees?"

Doughnuts or Ice Cream

2012-01-25T21:04:00.000-08:00

Mom: (after a particularly trying day) Ok, if you guys will clean up, I'll get you either ice cream or a doughnut.
Asher: Um, can we get both?
Mom: No way!
Asher: Why not?
Mom: Because that's way too much sugar...
Asher pauses to think
Asher: Mom, which has more sugar a doughnut or ice cream?
Mom: Asher, I have no idea.
Asher: I'm going to get ice cream because I bet it has waaay more sugar.

"Gum"

2012-01-25T21:03:00.000-08:00

For the past couple days, Emmeline keeps saying, "Gum."

Now, as evidenced by the doughnut/ice cream debate, I'm not a mom who's above bribing her children with sugar, but I haven't ever given Emma gum.

She said it a lot when we would be handing each other things (one of our favorite games--have you played it? Where you hand someone something, they say, "thank you" and you take it back. Ask Emma, it'll blow your mind!).

This morning, I realized it's a shortened, "You're welcome."

Love figuring out a baby speech puzzle. (Did I write about the months it took me to figure out that when Luke kept asking about the "mangoes," he was actually referring to the "flamingos?")

Because Aunt Rachel Knows Her Lukey Boy

2012-01-25T21:02:00.000-08:00

Rachel found this for Luke and it couldn't be more perfect. Luke often can be found signing a little Salt 'n Pepa around the house (this very song, in fact), and Lukey loves him some animals.

Happy Holidays

2012-01-03T11:32:00.001-08:00

Thanks, Jessica, for the expert photography and Rachel, for the card design!

We took a page from Luke's idioms for this our greeting.

Scenes from a Marriage: Christmas Wishes

2011-12-27T11:24:00.000-08:00

Nate: (mopping the floor yesterday to prepare for a party) Man, I wish I had asked Santa for a new mop for Christmas.

Luke's Got the Moves Like Jagger

2011-12-08T12:56:00.000-08:00

I guess because he's about as skinny as Mick and likes to dance. It doesn't get much more delightful than to hear Luke singing this song throughout his day--as he plays in the sandbox, on the trampoline, at dinner...

Santa trap

2011-12-04T14:10:00.000-08:00

Last night, Luke set out a trap for Santa. He put a bunch of balls behind his door, so "Santa would fall and break his butt."

It was cute for the first couple hours, but now that both Mom and Dad have almost fallen and broken their butts, the cuteness has worn off.

In the Middle of the Night...

2011-12-04T14:05:00.000-08:00

So, Asher and Emmeline inherited the freaky Curtis characteristic of being able to wake up bright-eyed early every morning.

This, of course, was my worst fear when I started having kids. When Asher started doing it at about 9 months, I was told that these 4:30-5:30 am wake-ups were probably something he'd outgrow. He hasn't, and now, Emma has joined in the fun.

But, I had a brilliant idea about a month ago. The rule before a month ago was that Asher had to stay in his room until 6 am doing something quiet (so as not to wake up Luke), and then, he could leave his room and find some quiet toys to play with. He'd always get antsy by about 6:30, and I'd have to get up with him.

With Emma waking up so early, I told Asher that he can go get Emma when she wakes up, and the two of them can go down to the play room. He can watch TV or play XBox as long as she's happy.

The first few weeks, Asher couldn't keep her happy for more than 15 minutes, but now, Asher and Emma hang out in that room for a good hour or um, sometimes, an hour and a half.

I don't know what he does to keep her happy and frankly, I don't much care. I'm delighted to wake up around 6:30 or 7 most mornings now.

Gardening in November

2011-11-14T14:06:00.000-08:00

Nate got me an early Christmas present this year when he laid out the other half of our garden (on the left).

I had high hopes of Emma being able to hang out with me while I planted the garden this morning. Alas, she was as helpful with this home improvement project as she is with every other one I try to do with her.

And, our dirt must be really tasty because all of my kids seem to really enjoy eating it.

Asher's babysitting

2011-11-14T14:01:00.000-08:00

Asher was watching Emma in the backyard while I was making dinner the other night. His report:

"Emma loves flying on the trampoline."

And, "I tried to put Emma on top of the hammock, but she ended up underneath it."

Luke on Church

2011-11-13T19:59:00.000-08:00

Today, we were eating lunch, sort of the calm before the storm when we all get ready for church.

I was trying to have a pleasant conversation to set the tone for getting ready for church, so I said to Luke, "What's your favorite thing about church?"

Luke said, "I don't have a favorite thing about church." (pause) "But, I do like it when my dad and I stay home and don't go!"

Also, this picture? Luke staged it one morning while everyone was getting ready for school. He got out all his favorite stuffed animals, set them on the dining room table, found me, got my camera, and had me take this picture.

Something Good

2011-11-03T11:05:00.000-07:00

Emma and Luke think this video from Grammy is awesome...

Grammy says the dog reminds her of Luke--always busy finding something to entertain himself.

The Running Dead

2011-11-01T12:39:00.000-07:00

Zombies hate fast food!
Zombies ~~are~~ were people, too.
Zombies never call shotgun.
Zombies only want you for your brains.

We also realized at about 7 pm Friday that we should have totally used The Rules from Zombieland(note: this links to clips with some swearing), but IMHO, they are far more practical than these Rules.
P.S. Some of us are doing the Del Sol Ragnar, February 24-25. We still have a couple spots left on the team. Let me know if you'd like to join us.

Happy Halloween from Emma the Bumble Bee

2011-11-01T11:32:00.000-07:00

Rachel, my sister, had the cutest ladybug costume I could have borrowed because she's generous like that, but for some reason, I had it in my head that Emma had to be a bumble bee. Poor thing hated getting put in the car seat because of the full scratchy skirt, and I didn't get it together to get her antennas. Still, with that smile, I think she pulled it off. (And, yes, that's a toilet seat in the background from Nate's 2008 Halloween costum e when he was the economy at the beginning of the recession. I don't know why I don't just throw it away.)

We're transitioning from 2 to 1 naps right now, so I'll need to keep these pictures around for 4 pm every day when she's so, so tired and miserable.

We went to see the grandparents, and then, the boys went trick or treating. I expected Emma to go to bed, but she was perfectly happy to sit on my lap and hand out candy. Except that she never did figure out to let the candy go. She'd pick up some candy, hover over a trick or treat bag, and then, just put her hand and the candy back down.

I think we'll be in trouble when she actually figures out what's IN the candy bags.

Happy Halloween from Darth Vader

2011-11-01T08:50:00.000-07:00

Like his desire to take naps until he was 5, Asher's early decision making skills and his complete independence regarding Halloween costume totally spoiled me and has me scratching my head that Luke won't be so accommodating.

Seriously, every year, Asher announces in the beginning of October what he wants to be totally on his own and keeps with that decision for the whole month.

Might I point out that last year, I wanted to do a Star Wars theme and Asher refused to be any sort of Star Wars character?

Happy Halloween from Thor/Obi Won

2011-11-01T08:35:00.001-07:00

Luke totally wanted to be Thor for Halloween (after he insisted on being a Thor/Woody/clown hybrid, we told him that it wouldn't be possible to wear all those costumes at once and he had a major meltdown for about 3 days every time Halloween was mentioned). So, once he settled on just being Thor for a couple days, we got this costume at Target complete with Thor's mighty hammer.

The day after he got the hammer, I let him take it school. His teacher was nice about it, but clearly, not so happy, and when I told Nate, he said, "What were you thinking?!"

(Seriously, I have no idea. I guess I was thinking, "Here, Luke, take this big hammer to preschool. No kid would ever figure out within 10 seconds of holding that hammer what an awesome game it would be to run around smacking each other on the head for 4 hours.")

But, then, on Halloween, Luke put on his Thor costume for school and freaked out because it was covered with little spider webs. You know the polyester stuffing they use to pad the muscles on those costumes? Luke saw a few stray ones poking out of his chest and was convinced the costume was dirty. He ran to the bathroom sink and got the costume completely soaked. And, wouldn't ya know, those fibers still stick up, even when everything else is completely drenched.

Fortunately, Luke didn't wear the costume he insisted on getting last year, Obi Won Kenobi. At the last minute last year, he decided the costume was too messy (it has some tunic hanging parts on it), so he was Woody for the second straight year. With minutes to spare before carpool, Luke got the Obi Won costume on and was happy.

I told him I'd wash the Thor costume while he was at school, but I got nervous about washing all that synthetic fabric, so I just told him I washed it and tried to pick out all the stray fibers. It didn't fool Luke. Luckily, he was quite content to put Obi Won back on that night for trick or treating, which meant that for the first time ever, our family had a quasi-theme Halloween:

Aunt Rachel would be so proud...

Ragnar

2011-10-25T19:59:00.000-07:00

I love this picture because it shows two things I did this year: bore a child and completed the Ragnar.

Of course, I couldn't have done either without Nate. We realized pretty early on in our Ragnar training that only one of us could do this. It's a big time commitment to train, and unfortunately, 24 Hour Fitness does not offer 24 hour childcare. Nate took the kids lots of mornings, evenings, weekends, and vacations so I could train (though there were plenty of days when I didn't want to).

Judy was also a huge help. If a kid (or kids) were sick and couldn't go to the gym, Judy would take them while I ran.

And, then, Judy and Nate did a massive push, watching the kids in Las Vegas for a full 30 hours. (Did I mention that Nate was our nighttime driver, too?)

They did a lot of this:
In fact, I'm not sure who got more of a workout in Vegas.

I'm also really grateful to Dave and Jessica who convinced me that I could do this race. I found a new workout option that I like, and this is the first time in my life that I've physically pushed myself to reach a goal. It feels pretty awesome.

We had a great team--full of expert runners who were nice enough to let me tag along.Some day, I'll stop bragging about it...really!

Anyone want to do the Del Sol Ragnar in February?

Staying on Top of Your Elementary-Age Games

2011-10-12T13:55:00.000-07:00

Asher: Evan, do you want to play "Rock, Paper, Scissors, Axe, Copper?"
Me: I've only ever heard of "Rock, Paper, Scissors," Asher. What does the axe do?
Asher: The axe gets rock, paper, and scissors, but not copper.
Me: Well what does copper do?
Asher: Copper gets EVERYTHING.

Ok, good to know!

The Best Birth Control Post Ever

2011-10-09T21:38:00.000-07:00

This is my side of the conversation that Luke and I had today while I was in the bathroom, trying to shave my legs and he decided to come in and go poop.

“Luke, don’t forget to wipe your bottom.”

“Eeew, Luke, not with your hand!”

“Yeah, just use the babywipe.”

“Wait! Don’t throw the babywipe in the toilet! That will break the toilet!”

“Luke, there’s still lots of poop on the babywipe. That means your bottom still isn’t clean.”

“NO!! Don’t throw the other babywipe in the toilet!”

“Ok, now, wash your hands.”

“Luke, that wasn’t long enough. If your hands still smell like poop, they aren’t clean.”

“Yeah, I know they still smell like poop. I don’t need to check. Wash them with soap this time.”

Crazy Kids...

2011-10-04T21:41:00.000-07:00

Asher was thrilled about our church's General Conference last weekend. He's been asking every Sunday since April if we could "just watch Church on tv like we did that one Sunday."

Luke informed me today that "the green ones are going to destroy our world." I can't get him to be anymore specific than that. Sorry for the bad news...

Emma is learning a few words: mama, dada, up, woof, and uh-oh.
Of course, if you ask her what a doggy says, she says, "Uh, oh."

(In these pictures, Emma really hopes someone will rescue her after a Monday evening of fun, but no, we just kept taking pictures of her.)

Bright and Early

2011-09-06T11:59:00.001-07:00

Emma has this great new habit...like her brother and her dad, Emma likes to wake up early. About 5 am to be exact.

Of course, this means that by 7 am, while I'm trying to get things up and running in the morning, Emma is ready to go back to bed, crawling around the house crying.

But, at 5 am, she's just as pleasant as can be. At 4:30 am, we usually pull her into our bed, give her a bottle, say a little prayer that she'll go back to sleep. She does, for a bit.

On Monday (Labor Day--holiday--hello?), Emma woke up at 5 and was all wiggly in the bed, so I put her on the ground. She promptly crawled to her brothers' room and squealed as she climbed up on their bed to "pat" them awake.

Sometimes, I feel like our children plan assaults like this on us just to let us know who's in charge.

Luke and God's Plan

2011-09-04T21:44:00.000-07:00

For our upcoming church primary kids' program, Luke was given a part, "I can follow God's plan by [fill in the blank]."

Nate and I are worried that he'll get to the pulpit, decide to be funny and say one of his two favorite "bad" words. "Poopy diaper" or "boobies."

So, we've been working on helping Luke fill in the blank. Here are some of the "blanks" Luke has offerred:
I can follow God's plan by:
eating marshmallows
eating dinner
eating bananas
speaking English (?!)
playing with trains
poopy diaper (we all knew that was coming, didn't we?)
giving hugs

So, we're going with, "I can follow God's plan by giving hugs." Fingers crossed that he'll actually say it come the big day.

The End of the Line

2011-08-29T22:01:00.000-07:00

With Asher in first grade and Luke in preschool from 9 to 1 pm, 5 days a week, it's just Emma and me at lunch now. We like to have scrambled eggs together since one brother is allergic and the other just wishes he was.

As I look at this picture, I have to admit that it still amazes me that I ended up with 3 children with brown hair and brown eyes. I was sure #3 would have my eyes at least. And, how did 2 of those children get dimples? And, 2 with olive skin, and 1 who loves math and computers?

Genetics is a strange game, I guess...

Love notes

2011-08-29T21:58:00.001-07:00

At "Meet the Teacher" night, I put this note in Asher's crayon box. He proudly brought this back to me a week later with his note back to me. I'll admit that I got a little choked up.

Your Car is Awesome!

2011-08-29T21:37:00.001-07:00

This picture taken at Luke's preschool's picture day last April (I know, I'm behind on blogging. Sigh...) made me laugh out loud.

Could there be a post more unnatural for our Lukey boy?

This picture has nothing to do with the pose, I just couldn't keep it to myself.

Last week, Luke, Emma, and I had to do some errands downtown. So, we were driving, and Luke said, "Mom, look at that awesome, awesome car."

It was some sort of 1960's classic Camero looking car (um, let me point out, I know NOTHING about cars. That's my best shot at a description.). It was grey with some red stripes on it.

Luke said, "I want to talk to those guys. Roll down my window."

I looked, and they were two men, about my age, probably, driving with the windows down (which means their classic car had no air conditioning, and it was 111 degrees that day), mopping their faces with a towel.

We're all stopped at a stop light, and I figure it'll probably make the guys' day or at the worst, they'll ignore Luke.

So, I get ready to roll down Luke's window when he says, "Wait, Mom. I have to put on my sunglasses."

Luke gets on his Buzz Lightyear sunglasses and says, "I'm ready."

I roll down the window, and Luke gets shy.

Then, he yells, "Hello! My name is Lukey boy!" right as the light changes.

The men smile at him and are getting ready to drive off, so I roll down my window and say, "My son wants to tell you that you have an awesome, awesome car."

The men smile, wave at Luke, and drive off.

And, Luke still wants to know when we're going to see "those guys" again.

I Hate to Complain...

2011-08-26T16:31:00.000-07:00

But, in the last month,

1) my husband broke my phone
2) Southwest broke my computer (Nate saved it)
3) my email was hacked--how many times?
4) and all my jewelry except for my wedding ring, earrings, and watch that I was wearing while the burglars broke in.

Sigh...

Luke Loves Cookies

2011-08-14T23:00:00.000-07:00

"Look, Mom...they have cookie robots at the grocery store!"

End-of-Summer Report

2011-08-09T15:12:00.000-07:00

So here we are at the end of another long, long Arizona summer. And by end, I mean school starts this week. The temperature will still be above 100 degrees every day for a month or more.

This summer we learned many important things in the Clyde Curtis family
1. Listen to the doctor. Don't exercise 3 days after getting a vascetomy.
2. Garmin lies.
3. Emily's tolerance for summer vacation is exactly 1 week shorter than summer vacation.
4. Nate's tolerance for summer vacation is approximately 2 months and 21 days shorter than summer vacation.
5. Babies can survive for long periods of time on less than 2 hours of sleep a night.
6. Strawberries do grow in Phoenix.
7. Blueberries do not grow in Phoenix.
8. Emily can make a wicked strawberry jam.
9. The best way to ensure that Nates' work stays busy is to schedule vacations that Nate commits to attending.
10. Swimming makes Luke poop.
11. Water parks and Luke are a very very bad combination.
12. Asher can make himself lunch while dribbling a basketball.
13. Three kids is just like having two kids except there is an extra kid, and no extra parents which makes it alot harder to do anything.
14. We have an incredibly cool extended family.

Thanks to everyone who played with us this summer. Glad its over, and can't wait until next year.

Strawberry Fields Forever

2011-08-02T22:13:00.001-07:00

We've had the most amazing luck with our strawberries this summer! I can't believe I've been harvesting a pint or two a week for all of June and most of July.

Too bad they're only good in jam (those strawberries aren't a bit sweet).

Staycation Disasters

2011-07-06T22:07:00.002-07:00

Maybe we won't try a staycation again...

Loosing Luke at the water park--twice.

Waiting an hour to eating dinner at a very expensive and not well air-conditioned resturant

Nate almost getting arrested while watching fireworks

Walking 25 minutes with 3 kids to the breakfast buffet only to find out it was closed and moved to the main lobby of the resort...a 30 minute walk

Luke pooping on the pool deck after we had checked out of our hotel room and handing Emma to some strangers at the pool while Luke and I ran around to try and find a bathroom.

Asher needing to poop 5 minutes after returning Luke.

Summertime Messes

2011-07-06T22:06:00.001-07:00

When it's super hot outside, I guess we all make messes...

I let Asher and Luke decorate the mirror with these Thomas the Train stickers. We've played with some before and they don't stick on anything. These are different ones.

I've spent 20 minutes, a bottle of goo remover, and I got off 8 stickers.

I think Emma wins for making the cutest mess, which is good because she makes this mess three times a day.

Praise for Uncle Dave

2011-05-14T14:33:00.000-07:00

Luke's unsolicited assement of his uncle:

Uncle Dave is the bestest party ever!
He kills monsters
And bad guys
And monsters
And bad guys

You Know It's Going to Be a Long Day When...

2011-05-10T20:36:00.000-07:00

Luke has a tantrum because you offer him pancakes for breakfast. HE DOES NOT WANT PANCAKES!!!

Then, he comes out of his room 20 minutes later, tantrum free, to have some pancakes.

Except that his brother ate all the pancakes while Luke was pouting.

I'll let you guess what happened next.

(This is a picture of Luke with his "trophy," a weird spoon he found in one of Nate's auction purchases.)

Field Trip with Asher

2011-05-10T15:32:00.000-07:00

So, I went to chaperone Asher's speech therapy class' field trip to the airport today.

Asher was horrible--not listening to me, hitting me and his friends. Pretty much acting like the girls I used to work with as a residential counselor in Boston, except I didn't have 3 other adults to help me manage a restraint.

He had a time out in the bus. He had a time out where I just held him and he screamed and everyone looked at us. I took away every privilege I could think of.

(The kids in my group hugged me and told me I was a good mom. That's how awful I looked--5 year olds were ready to comfort me.)

Asher finally turned around his behavior (kind of) so he could try and earn back his privileges and fell asleep on the bus ride home.

He woke up and said, "So, do I get my privileges back?"

And, I said, "Yes, but you know what, Asher? I'm not going to go on another field trip with you. You hit me and were mean to me, and I didn't have a fun time."

Asher's response, "But I got my privileges back, right?"

Buddy Bear and Asher

2011-04-20T14:04:00.000-07:00

For a school project, each kid in Asher's kindergarten class took home "Buddy Bear" for a week, wrote about their adventures with him, and took some pictures of what they did together.

I was a little horrified (given our school's tendency to have lice outbreaks and my general germ-phobias) to see children sleeping with Buddy Bear, eating with Buddy Bear, playing at parks with Buddy Bear while I touched Buddy Bear and realized that if he had ever been washed, he would fall apart.

But, I tried to be a good mom, and we had a picture with Luke and Asher having ice cream with Buddy Bear, and then, I tried to be really brave and let Asher read a book to Buddy Bear and Emma.

Imagine my surprise when I downloaded this picture (and a few others), which show Emma munching on Buddy Bear. Sigh...

Baby Asher/Baby Emma giggles

2011-04-03T14:36:00.000-07:00

Emma and Luke Love Each Other

2011-04-03T14:13:00.000-07:00

And, Asher and Emma love each other, too.

Luke's birthday

2011-04-03T14:12:00.000-07:00

When Asher was 3, he got to have a big, fun birthday party at the train park. So, I planned on doing the same for Luke when he turned 3.

But, when Luke turned 3, his mom was in her first trimester of pregnancy. March came and went without a thought to planning a big, fun party for Luke.

So, we tried to make it up to Luke when he turned 4 by having a big jungle-themed party. Doing trains has sort of been a passion Luke picked up from Asher, but animals? Well, Luke has always loved him some animals.

We had Jungle Jill come and she let the kids pet and hold animals. She was fabulous. Seriously, hire her for the 8 and under set. I'm glad we waited a year. Luke's social behavior has come a long way, and I think he enjoyed the party much more this way.

Thankfully, Jessica took pictures of the party. (My kids owe just about all photographic documentation of their lives to Jessica and my sister, Rachel.)

For our family birthday dinner, Luke picked the menu: Mamma Mia's pizza, salad (ok, I picked that), and strawberries. Then, he asked for vanilla cupcakes with chocolate frosting for dessert (and I thought chocolate cream cheese frosting would be that much better.

Asher's birthday

2011-04-03T14:11:00.000-07:00

I decided that having children 9 days apart means that the boys will get a party every other year (Emma will, too, to be fair). One kid gets a party and another kid gets to take 2 friends to do "something fun."

I have to say I think I'll always prefer the "something fun" event. It's fun to let the kid plan the whole time...maybe not as much fun to experience the whole time.

Asher decided he wanted to go see Rango with his two best friends, Mary and Natalie. And, we went to McDonald's before Rango and got Happy Meals (Asher, look! Documentation that I did, indeed, once buy you a Happy Meal.) Mary got Asher a "Cootie" game, which the whole family has enjoyed, and Natalie got Asher 8 puzzles and made him a crown.

Asher also got a much-anticipated bow and arrow. Apparently, the Curtis men are pretty good at shooting those things.

And, for our family birthday dinner, Asher picked his own dinner: spaghetti with meat sauce, berries, roasted broccoli and juice boxes.

He requested a chocolate cake with vanilla frosting.

Asher and Luke's Favorite YouTube

2011-02-27T09:12:00.000-08:00

If only we had a Darth Vader helmet...

Emmeline's new favorite song

2011-02-22T12:26:00.000-08:00

She thinks it's laugh out loud awesome!

A response to the "Love Poem" (really? that is your definition of romantic)

2011-02-11T15:45:00.001-08:00

Alas, complain and whine is all I hear while the mice continue to instill their fear;

You read the books, blogs, and sites, you know now that in this plight,

there is nothing more that can be done, until the mice have had their fun.

I do catch them one, two, three. I do smash them with no glee.

But for all your feminist pomp, you won't man-up and give those mice a stomp.

So please kill them, in my lieu, with a trap, or poison, or a hammer will do.

I still snare more, four, five, six, soon there will be no mice to scare.

When that day comes, patch holes I will, attics, vents, it will be a thrill

But until then, please give it a rest, I am doing all anyone can to rid your life of these pests.

Scenes from a Marriage: Setting Boundaries

2011-02-11T14:49:00.000-08:00

Emily: So, I'll be visiting Sister R now.

Nate: You know that'll take 3-4 hours out of your week just being on the phone with her.

Jessica: Emily, why did you do that?!

Emily: Well, someone has to be assigned to her who can set boundaries so she won't walk all over them.

Jessica and Nate look at each other and laugh.

Nate the Great: a love poem (kind of)

2011-02-11T09:58:00.000-08:00

A poem for my husband who insists on taking care of our mice infestation himself. Inspired by a nighttime reading of Green Eggs and Ham.

Nate is Great
Great is Nate

That Nate the Great
That Nate the Great
How I love that Nate the Great!
But he does not appreciate
My fear of mice and their mates*

I hate mice as they race
to corrupt, infest my space

Do they live inside the roof?
Yes, and they are not aloof.

Would you like them in your wall?
One died in there—quite the gall!

Crackers cookies, bread gnawed through
No wonder there is so much poo!

Would you like them eating fruit?
(They ate it all; the point is moot.)

Would you like them in the flour?
They chewed the lid with so much power!

In my closet, with such glee
I know they wait to devour me.

Would you like them in your bra?
Find poop there and shout, “Hurrah!”

Do you know they love my feathers?
Strew them with such obvious pleasure?

They live in walls and under chairs.
I swear they are the size of bears.

Nate the Great, dear Nate the Great
Now is the time: EXTERMINATE!
Clorox wipes have been divine
But, using them takes such time.

Think, (as I clean the poop and pee)
The Bubonic Plague came with their fleas.

Let’s kill them when they eat our fruit,
Let’s get rid of all that poop.
Out of flour, feathers, grains
Oh my gosh, they’re SUCH A PAIN!

In my bra, the roof, the wall
The mice believe they’ll conquer all.

But we can win, my dear, you’ll see
No need to feel we’re up a tree.

We’ll call a service that takes care
of this problem that makes friends scared.

They’ll come and plug holes mice have made.
When they do, let’s have a parade!

And others too will shout and cheer,
Perhaps even offer beer!
When you choose to obliterate
All our mice (with their mates).

*and their babies, too, 4-5 litters per year, scurrying around in the walls and attics, each dropping 25,000 dropping in their lifetime, but let’s not go there.

Someday I'll Think This is Funny

2011-02-09T10:18:00.000-08:00

So, I haven't wanted to blog about this (because if you don't blog about a problem then it's not true--does anyone else do this? note: this is also why I haven't said much about Luke's potty training), but we have a rodent infestation. Nate will say they're mice; I suspect they are, too, but I'm not sure.

We've killed 9 since December, including 1 in the wall. (Note: don't poison the rodents IN your house.)

I'm completely neurotic, trying to make enough noise to scare them away, and up until a few weeks ago, they stayed in the kitchen and pantry.

Then, they started to get brave. We'd see one scurry across the kitchen floor early in the evening while we were in the living room.

The final straw came one night when Luke and I were watching Enchanted. So, there's the part where Gezel calls all the New York animals to her, right? I'm watching her sing out the apartment window when I swear I see a mouse run into my room, under my dresser.

I think, "Now, you're crazy, Emily...seeing a mouse just as Gezel calls to them."

So, we continue watching the show, and I get up to go to the bathroom. I come back and see a mouse running back under the dresser from my bed.

Sigh...

Blue Steel or Asher's Versatility

2011-02-09T08:42:00.000-08:00

Right after Christmas, we did a family photo shoot, which will show you why I seriously dread taking pictures of my family. Though, I'll admit I am completely amazed at Asher's versatility in striking all manner of irritating poses. I swear the kid must have been up late at night, googling "how to make your mom crazy at a photo shoot." (Stella, you've got your work cut out for you this fall!)

This is the picture when we gave Luke drugs...
Dr. Evil--or is it Mini-Me?

Vampire Asher Seriously, does he think this is a pose?

I don't even know what to say here.

Laughing at his "real" family (Rachel, Corey, Evan, Cora, and Jasper)

I think he might be looking over my should when I read Fashion for Nerds (though, Audi pulls off this pose better than Asher)

Evan is awesome at photos; here Asher is tempting him not to choose the right...

Seriously?!

I hope this made you more grateful for your family photos. Me, I'm going to go hit my head against a wall for a bit.

Better Late than Never

2011-02-02T09:29:00.000-08:00

I figured Valentine's Day was my last day to reasonably expect to be part of the "holiday season" group. Yet, I had such high hopes for getting these out by Christmas with a note about how this season we are celebrating the birth of two lambs and include the poem by William Blake.

Wouldn't I have looked smart and on top of it?

But, really, I'm just lazy, so I combined Emma's birth announcements as a holiday card and with thank you notes written on the back and stayed up until midnight the past 2 nights to get them done.

Delightful Emma

2011-02-01T22:13:00.000-08:00

With those cheeks, that double chin, and that smile, I must admit that I'm completely smitten.

Fishes

2011-02-01T14:06:00.001-08:00

A few weeks before Emma was due, Asher and Luke won 3 goldfish (Thomas, James, and Gordon) at a birthday party. We kept them in their cups, thinking they'd die.

But, they didn't, so about 3 days later, Nate got the fish a pretty swanky tank, some plastic plants, and neon colored rocks. The boys were thrilled. Well, they were a little sad when James died--Nate forgot to check the temperature before he dropped the first fish in the new tank. We still feel bad about that.

This past weekend, we realized the tank was getting a little scuzzy. That's when we learned that we were supposed to clean the filter every 2 weeks (remember Emma is 2 months old now). So, Nate cleaned out the tank, bought some real plants and let the boys pick a feature for the tank. They chose the volcano over the castle, so now, I can't resist saying "Shark bait, who-ha-ha," every time I walk past it.

I think they're decent pets. They don't make a mess or get into my stuff. In fact, if they just took care of the mice, I wouldn't see a need to ever get a pet with fur.

Lukeisms

2011-01-29T13:11:00.001-08:00

This picture shows Luke, wearing his dad's glasses and with his face painted in White-Out (he and his cousin, Cora, did that). Know that White-Out does NOT wash off, and despite daily scrubbing, he remained painted for 5 days.

Anyway, I keep putting off a post about Luke because he keeps saying so many funny things. Here are a few:

When someone asks Luke's name, he says, "My name is Lukey-boy."

The other day, he pooped his pants (again), and I told him that it smelled bad and he needed to go in the potty. His response: "My poop smells like strawberries."

Sometimes, Luke will spontaneously say in his most grown-up voice, "Give me my hug!" and proceed to strangle you with a giant hug around the neck.

"Baby Emma is my best friend." Luke and Emma are now best friends. They will look at each other and smile, and then, Luke will sing his very special lullaby for her. You know, that famous lullaby, "I've Been Working on the Railroad."

Also, should you come to our house and be worried about not knowing anyone, never fear, Luke has taken it upon himself to introduce people when the come over, including Nate when he comes home from work. Luke makes sure he has both of our attention and then, says, "Mommy, this is Daddy. Daddy, this is Mommy."

Emmeline's blessing

2011-01-29T11:08:00.000-08:00

We blessed Emmeline on January 2nd in our church, hoping that more family could come because it was during the holidays. Unfortunately, that didn't turn out to be the case, so we would like to particularly thank Emmeline's grandparents, my sister, Rachel's family, and Nate's sister, Julie's family for making it.

We had friends make the trek out from Gilbert (thanks, Steeds!), and a whole host of ward family there.

I'm usually too overwhelmed to plan much beyond telling Nate and the bishop when we'd like to bless our baby. Maybe it's because Emmeline is such a good sleeper, maybe it's because I haven't sent out holiday cards or birth announcements that I had more time to make the day special, but I did a few things to try and make the day more significant:

Most importantly, Emmeline wore the same blessing dress every woman in the Sorensen (Nate's mom's) family has worn since Nate's grandma. Grandma Wanda took her wedding dress and made it into a blessing gown. It's beautiful and delicate, and I was in a panic that Emmeline would have a blow-out diaper wearing the 70 year old dress. I'm still breathing a sigh of relief that she didn't.

I told Nate that I needed Emmeline wrapped in a giraffe blanket that my Exponent blogger friends had given her. I loved that Emmeline would be blessed in blanket given by women I love, wrapped in a giraffe print that has special significance to me. Then, Nate forgot to take up the blanket...oh well.

My aunt, Carol, gave Emmeline a pearl bracelet, so I was able to have her wear something from her matrilineal line, and I decided to wear the pearls I wore on my wedding day as a kind of other connection.

And, Nate gave a short, but sweet blessing in church. Then, I gave my testimony during the meeting, explaining why we had named her (you can see this post for the details) and how I hoped that she would take after the man and women she was named after.

Then, we ended the busy day with a pie party with more friends and family. Judy and Julie made some French silk pies, my mom made my favorite peanut butter pies, Nate made his famous banana cream pies, and I made a key lime and a couple of apples. Seriously, if you have to plan an easy party, do a pie party!

A lovely day, but I must admit that I'm not that sad that it was the last baby blessing day I have to organize.

Expressing His Feelings

2011-01-29T08:48:00.000-08:00

Last night after a particularly horrendous trip to Costco, the kids and I drove by Blockbuster. As we drove by, Asher said how much he wanted me to take him to Blockbuster. I said no--people had not been good in Costco and we had plenty of movies to watch at home (thank heavens for Netflix streaming through the XBox 360).

Asher said, "Mom, when you don't take me to Blockbuster, it makes me feel like..." and then, he mumbled the rest.

I was so happy to hear Asher expressing his displeasure, you know, really thinking and exploring his feelings, but now that he's in the very back of the car and I'm in the front, I didn't hear everything so I asked him to repeat.

"MOM, when you don't take me to Blockbuster, it makes me feel like I want to kill you."

Ah, yes, those were the feelings I was hoping he would express.

Scenes from a Marriage: Hot and Heavy

2011-01-29T07:24:00.000-08:00

Emily is in the car with three screaming, crying kids. Nate is home.

Emily: I just want to warn you, everyone is crying, no one is happy...I feel like as I'm driving home that I'm trying to land a plane that's on fire.

Nate: Awesome.

Emily: What do you call that? When a pilot calls in to warn the tower that things are bad and it'll be rough when the plane lands?

Nate: They say that they're coming in hot and heavy.

Emily: Ok...Tower, we're coming in hot and heavy.

Scenes from a Marriage: Tramp Hole

2010-12-29T20:59:00.000-08:00

Nate's Boss: Nate has to leave early today to go dig a hole to bury a tramp in his backyard...(pause)...You know, for most people, I wouldn't feel the need to specify that the hole is for a tramp as in "trampoline," not tramp as in a homeless person, but for Nate, I suspect I do.

Feliz Navidad!

2010-12-24T09:06:00.000-08:00

Because this is as close as we"ll get to a Christmas card this year :)

Emmeline's birth story

2010-12-09T15:17:00.000-08:00

The picture (taken the first or second day after we came home) was a common scene at our house for the first few weeks...Asher and/or Luke playing with Emmeline's toys while she was nearby, screaming because I kept hoping they would work on entertaining her.

Just when I began to think of Emmeline's birthday as being November 22nd (I was scheduling an induction for that day so I didn't have to be in the hospital over Thanksgiving), I went into labor, but even then, I wasn't so sure it was labor because the contractions didn't feel much different than the contractions I had been having every day for the past two weeks.

So, Thursday, November 18th, began like any other, but I was feeling a little brighter because I had a doctor's appointment and was getting my membranes stripped. And, even if worse came to worse, I'd only have 4 more nights of sleeping (or not sleeping as the case may be) as a gigantic pregnant woman.

I went to my ob at 9:40, and she said, "I think you're going to have this baby tonight." I said, "Really? Well, strip my membranes anyway so I do!"

Then, I went to Asher's Thanksgiving feast at school (with Asher and Luke while thinking, "I wonder if these are contractions." And, "Do I really want to be throwing up this Thanksgiving feast if I am in labor? Meh, it'll probably taste the same coming up as going down..."). Yelled at my kids the whole time (awesome) and came home to try and rest.

That's when I realized those were contractions. Still not daring to hope, it took me until about 2:30 to cancel piano lessons and call Nate and tell him to come home. Nate said he was on his way and arrived at about 4.

At 4:10, we're leaving for the hospital while Nate is saying, "You know, Emily, those contractions don't seem to be that bad," which is not something to tell a laboring women. Though, really, he was right. They weren't bad, but they were 3-4 minutes apart, and I was not going to be one of those women who they say, "I'm sorry, ma'am, but you're too close to be getting an epidural now."

We get into triage at 4:45 or something like that. They see I'm already at a 7 (7--awesome!) and send me up quickly to Labor and Delivery. Within 20 minutes of getting there, I have my precious epidural (said with Golum-like intensity) and they've started my penicillin for Strep B because they're worried that I won't make it for the two doses in 5 hours.

Labor goes well except for some blood pressure dropping on my part, which led to some nausea that not even Zofran could keep up with. All the while, people at the hospital (students, staff, maybe someone off the street was interested for all I know) keep asking if they can watch while I deliver. I don't know if I would have been so willing with #1 or #2, but I've lost all pride, and I'll do what I can to train a rising generation of healthcare professionals (especially if all they're doing is watching).

By the time I'm ready to push, there are 12 women and Nate in my room. It was lovely to have a chorus of women there for the birth of my girl, and it was the most painful delivery (probably having something to do with the 9 pound 6 oz individual I was birthing), so I was happy to push to encouraging words in surround sound.

At 9:10 pm, I got my last dose of penicillin, and at 9:20 (or something like that), Emmeline was born. She didn't cry right away, and I started to see the panic in peoples' faces that we saw with Asher's birth.

The nice thing about my brain when my babies aren't breathing is that it goes into complete and utter DE-NIAL. Both times I've seen the worried looks on doctors and nurses faces, I've watched the neo-natal specialists turn their backs to me as they pound on my baby. I feel the tension in the room, and I rather serenely have thought both times, "He/She will breathe. There's just NO way they won't." (This is especially silly considering my former career as a chaplain where I saw several babies who didn't breath after birth.)

So, while I'd like to say it's because I have awesome mother's intuition and KNOW that things will be ok, I think it's just that the alternative is completely unfathomable to a woman in that situation.

And, she did breath about 6 seconds before she would have had to go to the NICU. So, they gave her back to me, and she started nursing right away. She was/is a pro!

Such a pro, that she nursed ALL NIGHT and cried often and rather incessantly until my milk came in 3 days later. (The nurse on the first night recommended that I cup feed her some formula, which I dismissed remembering that "babies aren't hungry until the milk comes in") The nurse the next day recommended cup feeding. By 5 pm the second day, I gave in, and Emmeline gratefully gulped down the tepid formula and slept for 5 hours. Whoops...

Emma has been a pleasure every since my milk came in. She's content to sit in her swing, wakes on a schedule of her own every night at 11 and 2:30 to nurse.

In fact, she's just lovely unless you forget to feed her. Then, heaven help us all, she'll go from quite to a wail that sounds like she hasn't been fed in 50 years.

Christmas ornaments 2010

2010-12-09T14:49:00.000-08:00

Every year, I get the kids an ornament. My mom was more ambitious than I...I had all red angels, Sarah had all green angels, and Rachel had all blue angels with David having nutcrackers and Tom having Santas (or maybe the boys are the other way around).
This year, I let Asher and Luke pick the ornaments on a day when Asher had pink eye and I needed a bribe to get through the day. I had gone to the Hallmark website to look things over and had a pretty good idea of what we might get.

I wanted to get Luke this Animal from the Muppets ornament. I got Luke an Animal t-shirt this year that scared him until I showed him a few YouTube clips of Animal. Now, Luke LOVES Animal and unfortunately, imitates him at inopportune moments. Still, if Luke played the drums, he'd do it with his feet, too.

And, I wanted Asher to get this cute Green Eggs and Ham ornament because we've been working so hard on his reading. And, because we've tried a few new foods this year that Asher has ended up liking to which I point out, "Now, aren't you glad you tried it like Green Eggs and Ham?" Of course, then, he has to remind me he is allergic to eggs.

But, I'm flexible...I was willing to go with the Tom and Jerry ornament. Don't love it, but I was open to it.

I was hoping if Luke didn't want Animal, I could talk him into this Star Wars ornament, but I didn't have a lot of home. He's kind of burned out on Star Wars since the whole "my mom made me be a

Jedi for Halloween" thing.

I was even willing to go with this Scooby-Doo ornament (though I may have changed my mind the 532nd time I heard Scooby say, "RERRY RISTMAS!").

Like I said...totally flexible.

But, what I didn't forsee is the train ornaments because seriously, I like to think we're seeing the light at the end of the train fad tunnel finally (FINALLY!).

Totally wrong though...

Asher got this little Lionel steamer that is supposed to hook together, but won't.

And, Luke got this Polar Express ornament. We did this yesterday and have already lost the bell. But, don't worry, it never rang (I checked with Asher and Luke to make sure it wasn't me ;) ) anyway.

I was firm when both boys decided they desperately wanted this $45 ornament where that train you see? It goes around the ornament and through the tunnel--sheesh!

Not to fear, though...I got to pick out Emma's ornament from this shop. At least she's not old enough to fight me.

I just try to get my kids an ornament of something they liked that year.

Emmeline Starr Curtis

2010-11-23T11:18:00.000-08:00

Phew! I thought I had enough energy to write her short and sweet birth story, but apparently not.

Here's Emmeline after her bath this morning (well, #1 bath, then, she pooped, so she got another, more perfunctory #2 bath, then, while she was doing a little naked tummy time she managed to pee all over herself--at that point, she just got a baby wipe bath).

These other pictures are of the hospital visit.

We're all thrilled she's here. The boys have been really good with her (though I wish they could get the hand-washing and no coughing in their sister's face). And, though I hate to jinx myself on day #5, so far things have gone pretty darn smoothly.

Gains and Losses This Week

2010-11-14T09:16:00.000-08:00

(Can you tell I'm doing a little blog cleaning tonight?)

This week, I have lost:

-my appetite
-Luke--several times
-the ability to sleep more than 2 hours at a time
-the idea that it would be problematic to wear anything but the same pair of yoga pants day after day

This week, I have gained:
-the ability to walk like a duck
-four pounds (seriously, seriously?)

And, another thing not to say to your pregnant wife when she comes home from the doctor and tells you how much she weighs:

"Wow! I never thought you'd weight that much!"

Halloween 2010

2010-11-11T11:50:00.000-08:00

So, I've lost my camera, and I have a sneaky suspicion that I packed it with my Halloween decorations, which fortunately (or unfortunately), Nate hasn't packed it in the attic yet. And, I just find it too demoralizing to unpack it all to see.

I keep asking Nate to unpack the Halloween decorations, look for the camera, repack, and put everything away. Lately, I'm getting more insistent on him doing this because (as I like to point out) we'd probably like to document the birth of #3. Nate says we can just use our phones as a camera.

Luckily, other people took pictures of my kids...

Here's Luke at his preschool getting ready to trick or treat. (Though Luke begged to wear his Jedi costume ever since it arrived in the mail, he only actually wore it to preschool and quickly ditched it when he found his Woody costume from last year.)

{And, all my pictures from Trunk or Treating with our Church are on the missing camera.}

But, fortunately, Rachel took pictures of our impromptu Halloween evening with family.

Asher vetoed my Star Wars theme idea, which was fine. I've already been in full Jabba the Hutt form since the beginning of September (both in terms of size and personality).

He wanted to be a Hot Wheels car for a while but suddenly, decided to be Scooby Doo instead (which was a much easier costume to find!). So, we borrowed one from Luke's preschool teacher.

If I'd known Luke would want to be Woody so bad, we could have had a free Halloween (at least in terms of costumes).

My friend, Jessica, had the excellent suggestion of me being Mike Wazowski, using my stomach as Mike's face. If only I had thought of that about 3 months earlier, I might have had the time to get

the material and make--I mean, have my sister, Rachel, make it for me.

Hopefully, some pregnant woman can use this suggestion in the future.

Utah weekend

2010-10-26T13:20:00.000-07:00

So, I did something a little crazy this weekend...with 27 days left before my due date, I got on a plane and flew to Utah to speak at a conference with some of my favorite people.

Asher and Luke, missing me, decided to take comfort in sharing my shape over the weekend. Nate did co-op duties at Luke's preschool Saturday morning, worked on reports at night, and used grandmother help when necessary. (Seriously, what do other people do without 2 grandmas living 5 minutes away?!)

My trip had to be pared down to essentials: a dinner with my Exponent bloggers (that I could only stay an hour for, though I was tempted to risk it and stay longer), the conference on Saturday, dinner with family on Saturday night, and then, back to Phoenix on Sunday. I was sad that I couldn't see any UT friends, but I knew that would push my schedule over the edge.

My part of the conference went ok; I hate speaking this late into my pregnancy. I get breathless and my brain is a little foggy. The rest of my panel was fantastic, as usual. The other speakers we heard were so good. And, I got to see one of my lovely friends recieve a well-deserved award for her work in Africa this year. I was bummed when I realized at 3 pm that I was going to be barfing if I didn't get back to Springville and rest.

But, I must admit that I was particularly thrilled to have D'Arcy, my friend, offer to do some pregnancy shots. We kept running out of time, so she did these in a corner of the University of Utah's cafeteria in about 10 minutes. And, she managed to make a tired, bloated, 9 month pregnant lady look pretty darn good!

Incidentally, D'Arcy will be here at the first of December if any Arizonans are interested in getting her to do a photo shoot of their family. (You can find her contact information on the blog link above or email me for it.) She's so good at putting people at ease and really has an eye for staging shots!

Naming #3

2010-10-13T22:00:00.000-07:00

So, #3 is coming in 5 weeks (hooray!).

I always thought I'd be wading through girls' names, trying to find just the perfect one. After all, there are so many lovely options.

But, when I actually had to choose a name, I've found that I wasn't excited about the search I had so looked forward to. Throughout my pregnancy, I have had a very specific name in mind, and as much as people try to help me broaden my horizons, I remain set on just one name. My family reads to me from baby naming books, my friends send me links of good baby-naming websites, yet I remain stuck. I just think this baby should be named Emmeline.

I love it because it’s after the founding editor of Woman’s Exponent and former Relief Society president, Emmeline B. Wells. I love it because her nickname could be Emma. Look at that! Two strong Mormon women covered with one name! And, I’ll admit that I love it because she has a cousin who will be 13 months older than she who’s name is Eliza. Seriously, I can hardly wait to get pictures of those two together.

But, perhaps, I'm limiting myself and her by not exploring more options. And, I'm a little ambivalent about this name because it is so similar to my name, "Emily." That'll make things difficult for the rest of the family. And, with the current knowledge of famous Mormon women, I suspect that most people will think I was vain and just made up a name that was similar to my own.

I know that I do so want her to share a name with a strong Mormon woman. I think it is in large part because I hope that such a name will give her power and strength to thrive and grow in the Church. I also want her (and myself) to proudly tell the story of the woman she was named after when the topic comes up; I know I always love to do that with my namesake, Emily Dickinson.

I told this to Nate, and he thought these were good reasons to stick with historical Mormon women. (Well, that and the fact that the only name I could settle on from the Bible was Jezebel because really, that woman gets a bad rap!) So, he went through a bunch of books on Mormon Church history. He came back saying, "Huh, there really aren't many women in that book." Darn!

So, in the past couple days, I have felt like I should make one last push. But, I'm pretty lazy, which is why I turn to you.

What strong names (Mormon or otherwise) have you or would you pick for your daughters and why? Has your name helped you feel stronger or more confident in your life? How so?

Lukey, Caped Crusader

2010-10-08T16:15:00.000-07:00

My mom had this great idea that I should take pictures of Luke wearing his cape, and in particular, that I should get some video of Luke flouncing around in his cape. I tried several times to catch Luke flouncing, but he usually does it in front of a mirror, so he can always see me sneaking up behing him.

My other problem is by the time I had the great idea to make a collage of photos of Luke in his various capes or cape-like pieces of fabric about a month ago. Right about the time that Luke stopped being as enamored with capes. Before that, for about 6 months, Luke would wear his capes everywhere...to school, to the store, to Church. It was very adorable unless you were his mother who ascribes to Edna Mode's ideas about capes for superheroes.

Asher's ideas

2010-10-08T16:07:00.000-07:00

It's nice when your school picture can make your dad laugh after a 14 hour day at work. I left this out on the counter for Nate, and Nate's response, "Look at those photogenic Curtis genes coming through!" (Then, Nate said something else, but to save Asher the embarrassment as a teenager, please ask Nate what it was the next time you see him. And, Nate, um, let's keep it off the blog.)

I can't convince Asher to be anything but a Hot Wheels race car. The problem is that I remember enough about being a 5 year old to know that Asher has something very specific in mind as to what a Hot Wheels race car looks like and I have no idea what that is.

Asher has added something in his prayers that may make him my favorite..."Please bless Mom that she will get the baby out of her tummy really fast." He's been praying for that for about 3 weeks now (and we've got 5 weeks to go. I don't know if he says that so I won't be such a grump or if it's because he's really excited to meet his baby sister.

Best $12 I Ever Spent

2010-10-08T15:47:00.000-07:00

Really, you don't need to watch this video; it's just Luke playing with a train set-up I got. Just be glad I didn't film the whole 5 hours he played with it.

Awesome when a toy works THAT well!

Nate and Luke's Profound Star Wars discussion

2010-09-27T12:08:00.000-07:00

Nate: Thor, it is against the jedi code to attack dad with a light saber while he is in the shower.

Luke: Dad, you da evil empire.

Scenes from a Marriage: Pregnancy #3

2010-09-27T12:05:00.000-07:00

Emily: (whispering during Sacrament meeting) See that woman? Her due date is 3 weeks ahead of me and she looks like she's 12 weeks behind me.
Nate: Yeah, I guess that's what age will do to you.

Note: Husbands and future husbands, this was not the correct response, even if the woman I'm talking about is 10 years younger and having her first baby.

Should I Be Worried?

2010-09-27T11:56:00.000-07:00

This is a picture Asher drew of a blue shirt. But, it looks more like someone shooting a gun (and this didn't scan, but there' s blood or bullets or something falling out of the gun).

Then, there was this conversation:

Asher: Mom, can two people get married?

Mom: Yes.

Asher: Could more people get married?

Mom: Um, not really.

Asher: Well, like maybe 3 people?

Mom: Probably not. Who do you want to marry?

Asher: I was thinking Mary (his best friend), Evan (his cousin) and I could all get married.

I'm going to take it as a good sign that Asher has decided that marriage consists of getting to be with your most favorite people.

Halloween Plans

2010-08-31T11:19:00.000-07:00

We've got big plans for Halloween...we just have to talk Asher into cooperating (he's rather insistent on being a Hot Wheels car). Asher and Luke can be Jedis of their choice, Nate will be Chewbacca, and I will be Jabba the Hutt--by then, I won't even need the fan to puff out the costume!

Summer highlights

2010-08-23T14:30:00.000-07:00

We did do some fun things over the summer (besides our trip to Utah), but I wasn't very good at documenting them.

Thanks to their friend, Max's birthday party, Asher and Luke learned that they love to bowl with bumpers. Luke gets lots of lessons in patience while he waits for his turns. Asher learned the benefits of "helping" Luke bowl to earn extra turns

We also went to see Toy Story 3. Asher and Luke have been waiting a LONG time for this movie. So, I let Luke bring his Woody.

Luke got so into the movie and the injustices perpetrated by Lotso that he would yell loudly and indignantly at the movie screen. I finally had to take him out for a bit to have a talk about the movie--why Lotso wasn't real and why he needed to be quiet.

First Days of School

2010-08-23T13:57:00.000-07:00

Luke went to his first day of preschool today. As we drove over, we heard the Smashing Pumpkins' song, "Today is the Greatest." I couldn't have agreed more. Luke was happy to go and very excited to put on his new lion outfit. Maybe we'll avoid wearing a superhero cape to school for a little bit!

Of course, I picked up a Lukey-boy who had peed his pants, but you can't win them all.

Asher's first day was a couple weeks ago. Asher vetoed the first day of school outfit I got him, which matches so well with his brother's. He also didn't get the back to school haircut in time, and you'll see his dad chatting on the phone. We got home from Utah late the night before school started, so we were a bit frazzled. Perhaps it was for the best, I hear a lot of moms cry on the day their kindergarteners start school.

Maybe it's because Asher started full days of school last year, maybe it's because I was worried he'd need special ed services forever, but for me, the first day of kindergarten felt like a triumph (mostly because it meant I got through the summer with two non-napping children).

Some pictures from our trip to the Grand Canyon and Utah

2010-08-17T19:33:00.000-07:00

Our second trip to Utah this summer began with scattering Nate's dad's ashes over the Grand Canyon. The place the family picked was beautiful despite the fickle weather. But, since I still haven't finished documenting my trip to Europe in May, perhaps it's best just to put all these up without much explanation.

Emily and Baby's summer

2010-08-17T16:49:00.000-07:00

Ok, this is an old post, but when it's 105 out, really, it still feels like we're in summer. And, the picture? That's me at 16 weeks. Oh, I was so cute and tiny, I can hardly stand it! I need to get around to taking another picture (at 33 weeks), but it's rare that I have my hair and make-up done and I'm fully dressed. So, don't hold your breath.

This baby and I have been taking it easy this summer. We don't like the heat, but we did discover that we LOVE Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

Yes, I'm completely embarrassed to admit that I watched all 7 seasons this summer (can I point out that I got 3 seasons done during my Rotavirus illness?), and I'm contemplating writing Sarah Michelle Gellar a fan letter about how she helped me get through a difficult summer.

As Asher gets back into school and I am in the final countdown for Luke to return (summer camp went WAY to fast!), I'm ready to start up piano lessons and get ready for this baby to arrive. But, I don't want to redo the nursery. I think a safari theme will be just fine for this little girl.

Today, Rachel and I went shopping, and I found an outfit for the baby, but like seeing the movie, Eclipse, I get all angsty when I see the problems inherent in our culture for raising girls. Important things like why have clothing manufacturers decided that boys=dogs and girls=cats? Pul-ease! And, why do girls get all the smocking fun? Ah! I'm loving the ease of finding smocking!

We're working on names for this little one. I have one that I can't shake, but it's not practical or particularly beautiful. I just love it and can't to think to call her anything else. Nate is being a good sport about it, but I feel like I have to work a little harder before I can make an official announcement.

Asher's summer

2010-08-11T10:16:00.000-07:00

Play:
Asher has enjoyed having his cousins, Gwen, Harrison, and Max around. Add Evan to the mix and Asher has become conditioned to believing that he needs a cousin with him pretty much 24 hours a day.

He has enjoyed cousin sleep-overs with Evan, which has convinced Rachel and me that this whole parenting gig might just be worth it if we could get Luke and Cora on the bandwagon.

Nate had the well-intentioned idea that starting Asher on video games at an early age would ensure that Asher didn't get too addicted. We're starting to see that that may not be the case. In addition to having a cousin at his disposal at all times, Asher also believes it is an inherent right to play Lego Star Wars and Indiana Jones at any time, no matter what Mom says.

Chores:
Asher and I are learning how to get chores done. It's an art to decide when reminding Asher to do chores does more harm than good.

Scripture Study:
After Starr died, I felt like we really needed to find a way to get a little more spirituality in our home. With Nate's work schedule, he hasn't been able to join us much, but I have found a lot of peace reading with Asher from the Book of Mormon reader my mom let us borrow. And, I think Asher has learned a thing or two. Luke, well, we hope Luke comes around in a few years.

Mortality Talks:
Reading the Book of Mormon along with Grandpa Starr dying has given Asher multiple opportunities to have some mortality discussions with us. According to Asher, heaven is a place where you can do whatever you want, i.e. you can play Lego Star Wars all day and no one will tell you you have to get off.

Luke's Summer

2010-08-11T10:14:00.000-07:00

We've had a summer of being lazy, gestating, and mourning, and I can't believe how behind I've gotten on blogging. So here's a summary of Luke's summer...

Playing:
Luke plays with his light saber ALL DAY. When he's really into it, you'll hear him humming. I realized this wasn't a tune, but the "mmmm, mmmm" mimicks the light saber noises.

Luke also exhibits flare when flouncing his cape in his underwear. Speaking of underwear...

Potty Training:
We're working on potty training. Well, I'm working on potty training. Luke is working on sending his mom to the nut house. Luke has been wearing underwear all summer (we took a few weeks off after Starr died). Would you like to know how many times he has gone pee in the potty?

Come on...guess!
Not once...every day, I wash 5-6 pairs of pants and 3-4 pairs of underwear (I throw out the poopy ones).

I'm out of ideas. This is a little boy who calculates his accidents, so I have no doubt he's capable of being potty trained. I know he'll pee 10 minutes after we've spent 20 on the potty, when he gets put in time out, but never when we leave the house.

Luke Speak Translated:

"Blue Star Wars" = Star Wars: Episode 1 (We also call Toy Story 1 "Blue Toy Story" because the DVD is blue.) "Blue Star Wars" is a burned DVD, so it's not blue, but realizing that it's the first Star Wars, Luke realized it must be "Blue Star Wars"

"Hot Star Wars" = Star Wars: Episode 3 (watch the end and you'll see why)

You know, I always worried that people would think we were some huge Star Wards nuts who named our kid after Luke Skywalker, rather than from the Gospel of Luke. I had hoped to the name would carry with it an inherent sensitivity to all people, an eye for things glanced over by others--characteristics of Luke's writings.

But, apparently, the name will bestow the namee (?) with super powers, including jumping off one's mom's desk, having light saber fights with his brother ALL DAY, and yelling at those who choose to go to the Dark Side.

15th Anniversary of Life Without a Colon

2010-06-30T16:32:00.000-07:00

Fifteen years ago, I wanted a BIG present to celebrate my birthday and graduation from high school; it cost more than both of their cars put together.

I was asking, pleading for a colectomy. Every year at this time, I think about this surgery, which for me, happened to be my cure from ulcerative colitis.

I am so lucky. Lucky, lucky, lucky.

Over the past 4 or 5 years, I've realized that now, I have lots of peers and dear friends who are far wiser than I--their struggles make this event 15 years ago look like a trip to Disneyland. That smug wisdom I had at 18 is over.

But, for a few years, that illness made me wiser than many of my peers. I learned about mortality. I knew, as only a select group of teenagers ever know, that sometimes, no matter how badly you want to live, your body won't cooperate. You'll keep bleeding, loosing weight, getting weaker.

No matter your positive thoughts.
No matter your prayers.

And, I learned that sometimes, for whatever arbitrary reason (because the older I get, unfortunately I realize that who stays and who goes feels terribly arbitrary), healing can happen, though it's often not in the form I originally thought it would come in.

Instead of the miraculous healing I prayed for, the one where my symptoms disapper, and I walk out of the hospital, leaving doctors scratching their heads... I ended up with a different result, one without a colon and a few adjustments to my life, but a healing just as miraculous because of the many lessons it taught me.

If I hadn't gotten so sick that summer, I think the life I led would have been very different. There are dear friends I would have never met.

I think it even had a profound affect on the person I chose to marry. Perhaps you've met Nate...We didn't (don't) seem to have much in common on the surface, but 1995 was a rough year for both of us. And the things we learned that year (though such knowledge came under very different circumstances) formed part of our immediate bond when we got reacquainted in college and still frames our lives today, carrying us through difficult times--perhaps you've also heard of June 2010? There have been days where I think it's trying to give June 1995 a run for its money as the WORST. MONTH. EVER.

Anyway, I wouldn't have gone into religious studies or found hospital chaplaincy. I don't think I would have applied to the graduate schools that I applied to and certainly wouldn't have had the courage to go to the one I ended up going to. In fact, my mantra for five years post-surgery was, "I can do that. I've gone without food or water for 40 days, I've been in the hospital for 2 months, and I've lost a colon. This is nothing."

That last flare-up taught me more about God and charity (and how God uses others to show love, do God's work, and comfort us) than I have learned before or since. It also taught me a reliance on God that I don't know if I could have learned any other way. I learned that when it's 3 am, and I had to wait 2 more hours before my next doses of anti-nausea medication and/or pain medication, well, there wasn't anyone else who was able to sit in that room and wait with me quite like Jesus did (though my mom was a close second).

And, on the lighter side, really, the excuse, "I can't...I don't have a colon," is just a pleasure to spout out every once in a while, even when it makes no sense.

A couple years ago, I had an ob/gyn give me an exam. She looked at my stomach 14 inch vertical scar and the 6 inch horizontal scar. She said (as most people do), "Oh my gosh! What happened?!"

I explained I had a colectomy. She said, "You know, they only make about a 4 inch incision now for the whole surgery."

But, I'm happy with my scars because a 5 inch incision just wouldn't do justice to the illness or the healing. As I've reflected all month on where I was 15 years ago (yes, I'm a little embarrassed that I have thought about June 1995 this much), I wish I could show that 18 year old Emily my stomach today, pregnant with Baby #3, with the faded scars and most importantly, I'd have her notice that there aren't any new scars. She never had another flare-up that would necessitate more scarring, she even got pregnant and that trusty pseudo-colon made it unnecessary for the Cesearans the doctors promised she'd need.

That ugly stomach would show her that she did what she feared she'd never be able to do when she got out of the hospital--grow up, move out, and move on.

Technically, this post should have been posted yesterday, but I was feeling just a little too tender to get it up.

Scenes from a Marriage: Who's Got Your Back

2010-06-18T08:14:00.000-07:00

Actually, we've learned this past week that lots of people have our backs. Offers of babysitting, house and yard cleaning, and just genuine friendship have been given freely. We have a mountain of thank you notes to write.

Conversation 1:
Asher: Mom, you are REALLY hurting my feelings.
Mom: Asher, I'm not trying to hurt your feelings, but you've got to do what I ask.
Asher: Whatever, Mom. I'm going to have Aunt Rachel spank you bottom SO HARD.

Aunt Rachel is also the "best mom" according to Asher because she takes them swimming (see photos) and never yells at them.

Conversation 2:
Emily: Nate, tell me you made the little mouse teeth markings with a knife in the butter I left out last night, so I don't have to buy more traps.
Nate: Um, yes...yes, I was the one who did that. Certainly, not a roof rat like the one I caught while you were in Utah.

My latest project

2010-06-15T12:41:00.000-07:00

Once I commit to an organization, it's usually stuck with me. My Mormon feminist group, Exponent II, would be one of those groups.

Since September, one of my favorite friends, Aimee, and I have been rebuilding this historic paper as co-editors. And, today, we are excited to announce the publication of our first issue as co-editors (and the first issue since Winter 2009).

Aimee, our layout editor, Margaret, and our webdesigner, Jana, were lovely last week when I had to call 5 days before we published this issue and tell them, "Please change this and this and this and this, and I won't be of any help until next week if I'm even up to helping then."

It's been hard to get this out while we've been dealing with Starr's death, so I also want to dedicate my work on this issue to him. He was one of the best Mormon feminists I knew, and I'm grateful that he raised his sons to be like him in that respect. He always encouraged me in my graduate work in feminist studies, even expressing his pride in the work I had chosen to do. And, frankly, Starr put his own hours into this issue (Starr, could you watch the boys today, so I could get this part of the paper finished? And, what about next week when I meet with the Uppity Women's group for lunch?).

And, you can also see Nate's cousin, Tessa's lovely cover art above, and Nate's mom, Judy's diligent and inspired poetry collection as our poetry editor. Clearly, I married into an amazing family.

Holes

2010-06-07T23:40:00.001-07:00

There are many different kinds of holes in the world. There are good holes, bad holes, big holes, little holes. Some holes lead to wonderful opportunities, and other holes just lead to the opposite side of the fence, button holes, rabbit holes, doughnut holes, and post holes. Truth be told, there is a hole for every occasion. But the grand-daddy of all holes is the black hole, the biggest, darkest, meanest hole of them all.

A black hole forms when a starr no longer burns hot enough to support its structure. When no fuel remains, the spent starr dies by collapsing on itself, and forming a dense dark mass with gravity so strong that nothing, not even light, can escape.

The starr is exhausted, collapsed, a black hole remains that sucks in the light and energy from our lives.

But this starr, while he was alive, gave life and light. This starr emitted charity and radiated kindness to friends, family and strangers alike. This starr's light will be recycled and passed on to warm hearts and strengthen minds generations removed.

When held in the balance, the knowledge, life and love that shown from this starr while he burned will eclipse the black hole that has been left behind.

Each night we search the sky for that guiding starr.

Lost.

We find only this hole.

For H. Starr Curtis,
April 27, 1941 – June 7, 2010

Pregnancy Indulgences

2010-06-05T15:12:00.000-07:00

Treat Tummy*: I want a Tofutti Cutie.
Me: How about a banana?
TT: No, a Mint Chocolate Chip Tofutti Cutie.
Me: Ok, you’ve already had 2 of those in the last hour. What about cherries?
TT: No.
Me: a peach?
TT: No.
Me: Some toast with Granda's raspberry jam?
TT: No.
Me: Anything else?
TT: Well, I could handle a chocolate chip cookie.
Me: You just had two of those in the last 15 minutes.
(pause and sigh)
Tofutti Cutie it is.

*A Treat Tummy is a stomach separate from one's regular tummy. It allows you to have a complete meal at a resturant and still be hungry for dessert. It perplexes my dad and my husband that they can eat with the women in our family who say, "I am completely full," and then, say, "So, where's dessert?"

(And I do worry that my TT seems to negotiate with me the same way my 5 year old does.)

Memorial Day in Utah

2010-06-04T11:38:00.001-07:00

Three days after I returned from Europe, the little boys (remember Nate's busy work, it continues), my in-laws and I piled in the mini-van and headed to Ephraim and Springville, Utah to celebrate Memorial Day.

The trip went well; our boys are starting to be good little travellers. We made it to Page before we had to break out the DVD's--a record for us!

First stop was Ephraim to Grandma Wanda's house. Nate's cousin (and my travelling companion), Tessa, has been renovating the house this year, and I simply couldn't believe the transformation. I'm kicking myself now that I didn't take any pictures.

We stayed in the local hotel where the boys slept ALL NIGHT and woke up to go to the Scandanavian Days parade. Asher and Luke were super excited about all the candy that was thrown at them. And, Judy had the good idea of getting Luke a dog leash at Wal-Mart because I had forgotten a stroller. The leash worked really well with the added bonus of getting Luke more worn out, but I think Nate and I will stick to strollers. The looks ones gets for putting their child on a leash!

And, I don't know if it was the pregnancy hormones or what, but golly, did I get emotional when I saw those people dressed in pioneer clothes with their pushcarts waving those Scandanvian flags. Every year we go to Ephraim, I think, "This was my ancestors' promised land?"Not that San Pete County isn't lovely, but really, what faith and determination!

Then, we went to the Scandanavian Days fair at Snow College, where it is one of the highlights of my year to get myself some Swedish meatballs.

Starr and Asher played some pioneer games. And, then, we waited in line for 45 minutes for hot dogs for the boys. After all the adults and children were tired and bored, I realized I would be waiting until next year for my Swedish meatballs. Asher got to play with some delightful second cousins, and Luke enjoyed a little Dora the Explorer at the Ephraim house. Once the boys fell asleep, I realized it was my chance to drive up to Springville.

We stayed with my grandparents who are some of the most gracious hosts around. Granda made delicious meals and Grandpa watched the kids in the yard.

Luke broke a paper maiche box that I remember from when I was growing up and a coaster and he pulled up about four tulip bulbs before unpotting 6 potted plants. Granda and Grandpa were very kind, but I was pretty embarrassed.

Granda and Grandpa also did their Memorial Day celebrations early on Saturday so that we could hit the rode early Monday to make it home in time for the boys to start school. We made the rounds at the cemetary, putting flowers on Granda and Grandpa's parents' and siblings' graves; it also gave us a good chance to talk to Asher a bit about mortality while Luke went and tried to spin all the pinwheels he could find.

It was another delightful Memorial Day Utah celebration, but one certainly made all the more enjoyable and possible by family members.

Post-Trip Wrap-Up

2010-06-01T20:03:00.000-07:00

So, the after effects of my European trip aren't as bad as I thought. Of course, it looks like it was a little rough while I was gone, see Luke's end of the year playgroup picture to the left.

But, it only took me 2 days to find the bad smells in the fridge. (Thank you to everyone who fed Nate and the boys--they didn't touch a thing I left them.) We're still digging out from laundry, and I haven't begun to think about cleaning, but at least the bills are paid.

But, the thing about being a stay-at-home parent is that's about all the catch-up I have to do. Someone else had to feed, bath, and entertain my children while I was gone. I don't have to do any of that because my mother-in-law and mom did it all, and I mean ALL. I came home to boys with haircuts, clipped fingernails, and brushed teeth. (And while Nate did an excellent job in so many areas, well, I know those things were taken up by the grandmas.)

The only ill effects for the boys seems to be:

1. Luke's separation anxiety has increased exponentially. Today was his first day of preschool. The first day ever that instead of leaving him tantrumming in my arms he was permitted to stay...only to wail at my departure.

2. Luke has taken to calling me, "Emily."

"EMILY, you have a TIME OUT!"
"EMILY, I want my CHEESE!"

3. Asher has taken to informing me that he will "tell his dad on me."

On the plus side:
1. Nate thinks I'm, like, the BEST THING EVER!
2. I think Nate is pretty awesome, too.
3. And, best of all, I got a chance to spend some time with some lovely, lovely relatives and live life as a person and not as a mom.

Maren, Nate, Judy, and Mom (and everyone else who helped!), thanks for one of the best birthday presents I ever received!
So, it may take a while to regain my former status as the boss of the house, but I feel up to the task, especially when people give me lip around here.

Now, I just say, "Hmmm, I think I need to go plan another trip..."

OK...One more

2010-05-22T01:09:00.000-07:00

So I have to write one more, mostly because I get to brag that I really am the most incompetent parent EVAR!! That, and its 12:15am, I am too tired to work effectively. So why don’t I go to bed you ask?

Early on in the week I called this single parenting experiment a success because there had been no deaths or debilitating injuries.

In business school, one lesson taught in the leadership curriculum dealt with setting goals, monitoring progress, and adjusting goals in order to maintain morale. Morale at Clyde-Curtis Inc. is in serious jeopardy…

It all started about 24 hours ago. I finished picking up the house while the boys were winding down for the day. Thor and Asher’s rooms were clean, the boys ready to go down. This is where I made a VERY IMPORTANT discovery for dads everywhere (pay attention).

When mom goes out of town DO NOT SING BEDTIME SONGS ABOUT MOM LEAVING TO YOUR 5 YEAR-OLD! I have been singing this lullaby almost every night to Asher since he was about a year old. It is one of his favorite songs:

Go to sleep little babe,
Go to sleep little babe
Your momma's gone away and your daddy's gonna stay
Didn't leave nobody but the baby
Go to sleep little babe,
Go to sleep little babe
Everybody's gone in the cotton and the corn
Didn't leave nobody but the baby
Don't you weep pretty babe
Don't you weep pretty babe
She's long gone with her red shoes on
Gonna need another loving babe
Go to sleep little babe
Go to sleep little babe
You and me and the devil makes three
Don't need no other lovin' babe
Go to sleep little babe
Go to sleep little babe
Come lay bones on the alabaster stones
And be my everlovin baby

Asher was crying hysterically after the third line.

Kids finally asleep, I went to work for the night. I was just wrapping up work at about 12:30am, getting some analysis done for a 7:30am meeting. I wandered down to the bedroom end of the house fully expecting to find Thor waiting for me with some stellar ninja skills. Every night prior this (that Emily has been gone for) when I go to bed, Thor has been waiting for me, usually sitting there, staring at me with a very menacing look.

Thor is a complicated adversary. Just when I thought I had him figured out, he changed his behavior and took advantage of my complacency. I went to that end of the house and saw no Thor. I heard no noises. I went in to check on Thor, and he was not there. That’s a scary feeling.

I sprint down to Asher’s room hoping that Thor is there, and this is what I see:

Asher was in the same place I had left him when he fell asleep, this is all the work of one disgruntled 3 year-old (now cleverly disguised as an adorable sleeping child right next to his older brother), remember I had just picked up the room a few hours earlier. I think Emily may be reading “Art of War” to Thor at nights.

Now, I have been fighting a cold for several days, and Asher came down with the same symptoms yesterday. I went to work to get documents and then headed home to provide excellent parental support for Asher. I cancelled all the babysitting, and decided I could go it alone. Afterall, I am a multi-tasker, I can get work done and tend to 2 children.

I am now approximately 8 hours behind on my work.

At one point in the afternoon, after I realized I was not going to get any work done, I decided to get some other projects finished. Off to Home Depot for wood to fix the fence. While loading the wood into the van there was a lot of sawdust. Asher got some in his eye and starting crying. He rubbed his eye a few times, then really started crying. 3 hours later here is a picture of “Pirate Asher” (as he likes to be called).

Doesn't that face just say, "Mom, where the hell are you? This guy you left in charge is a total HACK!"

All things being equal if you have to make a miserable mistake while in charge of your own children, a scratched cornea is one of the better injuries to have. The fix takes about 30 seconds, and the test to see how bad the scratch is involves a black light (Asher thinks there is nothing crazier than a black light). Total recovery time is 12-24 hours, after that the patient is back to normal (eyes heal fast).

Fast forward to..well…now. I finished work at 11:30. I head for bed and find Thor in Asher’s room trying to wake up the pirate. “WAKE UP ASHER!! WAKE UP!!”

Asher has a numbed eyeball, and the doctor told me to give him ibuprofen and Benadryl in order to knock him out. It worked, Pirate Asher was completely oblivious to his brother jumping up and down on Pirate Asher’s bed.

I scoop up Thor and try to get him to go to sleep, he just started jumping on me, “WAKE UP DAD!!! WAKE UP!!” (I was never asleep).

And so now it is 12:30am, and I am completely defeated. Thor is watching Toy Story because he knows he has won, and I am trying to regroup. At least my one-eyed child is still asleep.

Time to adjust the goals in order to maintain morale. Here we are 2/3 of the way through and we have had no deaths, this single parenting experiment is a SUCCESS!

Go team dad…

P.S. The pirate is up.

Roman and Venetian Holidays

2010-05-19T08:56:00.000-07:00

Ok, I started this post 3 months ago...I'd love for it to be witty, reflective and meaningful, but then, it'll never get posted.

So, Rome was really fun, and we didn't see half of what I had hoped. Here are some things I learned:
1) Every church has a different flavor and feel. And, I was thrilled to find that just about every church had some woman represented somewhere in it. Awesome.
2) I also learned what Italians mean by Americans love of oversaucing pastas and I'm going to try and do better when I get home, though I fear oversaucing is done more because of a lack of quality ingredients than being greedy.
3) I also found I had no heartburn in Rome, which I initially thought was a testament to the Italians' fine cooking, especially when I was plagued with it on coming to Austria (incidentally, austrians don't use baking soda in their baking; I didn't bring any of my own because I assumed that baking soda was western european product).Tessa diagnosed my problem. Carbonation. Austrians have this lovely lemon verbana soda that I was enjoying at dinner. Now, I see I do best with no carbonation at all. A sad lesson to learn, but a helpful one.
4) One must consult those who have spent some time in Rome to truly know what to see and what to skip. I would have been lost without Jen and Janessa's excellent and trusted advice.

Here's a view from our apartment in Rome...lovely!

Here are my inestimable travelling companions. I miss them so much; they're much more reasonable than the current group I live with (well, I guess Nate is pretty reasonable, but those other two/three?), and they like to do the same things I do.

Roman ruins because, well, isn't that why one goes to Rome?

St. Peter's Basillica. Just enormous...I could have spent days there and at the Vatican Museums. Yet, here I have a few complaints. Romans don't dig signage, so we were never quite sure which line to stand in or what we were looking at. And, we noticed that Romans are completely arbitrary in their enforcement of rules. Look like you know what you're doing, walk with purpose, and most of the time, you can get away with not following a rule (like walking in the right area). Look timid and unsure, and they'll yell at you.

Courtyard at the Etruscan Museum. I think Nate and I should build one of these in our yard.

This is a Santa Maria church, I can't remember which one, but if you go into my Flickr folder you'll see. It's one of the older churches in Rome, and what's that on the top of the Church? A mosaic of women adorning the Madonna and Child. I got all excited, thinking they were famous Church leaders. We found out they're actually the Ten Virgins, but still, lovely to see female representation on the outside of a church.

A lovely mosaic.
If you're not bored yet, there are more pictures of my trip here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/22513866@N06/sets/72157624018666571/

Now, Austria was an equally wonderful trip. I loved Austrian food--meats, cheeses, and breads with delicious fruit and herb flavored sodas, but I wasn't nearly as diligent taking pictures.

But, while Rome was seeing monuments and art, Austria was a time to relax with Nate's lovely aunt, Gail. We talked and lounged at her beautiful home in a monastary and got a chance to meet some of her dear friends.

I thought I'd be chomping at the bit to get home the whole time I was in Europe, but I wasn't. In fact, I was a little sad to come home. To think, I almost didn't take this trip because I was worried about missing my family and well, frankly, I was also concerned that the house and the boys might have spontaneously combusted in my absence. But, they did well (thanks to grandparents and friends), and the break did me a whole world of good.

Thank you, Maren and Nate for a birthday/Christmas/Mother's Day present I won't soon forget!

The last post

2010-05-18T22:47:00.000-07:00

This is going to have to be the last of my updates. I enjoy writing them, and reflecting on the days events, but work has reached a point of critical capacity. Every conscious moment from here on out is dedicated to making sure my job is still there tomorrow. I cannot indulge further in humorous introspection, and family commentary.

Last night I went to bed at 1:23am. I had been working all night at the end of the house away from the bedrooms. I spend enough time in this arrangement that I know I can hear crying children. As I rounded the corner from the kitchen to the bedroom area, I saw Thor sitting, Samurai style, in the hall, completely silent, just staring at me with his angry David face. I have no idea how long he had been sitting there, but I am really starting to worry that he is plotting to murder me.

The last 5 days have been an eye-opening and enlightening experience. I wanted to share a few of the many Zenny moments of enlightenment with ya’ll.

1. Single parents are the sh*t. I don’t think we realize how geared our society is towards two-parent families. As I have walked a few feet in the single parents shoes I have seen just how many little things screw over the single parent. For example, I need a hair cut. I need more than a hair cut. I need someone to fire up a weed whacker and go to town on my back and neck. How does a single parent with psycho children get a hair cut?

2. Movies are great learning tools for parents. Watch what your kids do when they watch movies. I was showing Asher and Thor selected scenes from Jurassic Park. I debated about showing them the kitchen scene where the veloceraptors are introduced. Of course I decided to show them the scene thinking they would be frightened out of their socks. Instead, at the end of the scene, I stopped the movie, and Asher immediately said, “Dad, can we get a pet dinosaur?” Thor chimed in with a “LESOSERPAPTOR! LESOSERPAPTOR!” what ensued was a game of tag/hide-n-seek in which dad was the helpless kid, and Thor and Asher were the fun-loving “lesoserpaptors”.

3. Your offspring’s only purpose in life is to ruin everything you love. I love video games. I would go so far as to term myself something more than a gamer, maybe even a game connoisseur. I closely follow the development of new games. I view a finely crafted game as one of the greatest artistic collaborations ever created by humans. In what other medium do we combine painting, writing, music, technology, and acting with the goal of a piece of art in which the observer can interact, manipulate, explore and experience for hours, days or even weeks?

Obviously, I am not talking about the Halos, Maddens, Super Mario Karts, or other factory games that are churned out in third-world sweatshops. I am talking about the games that start as visions and are given life by a group of collective genius that have both the knowledge and creativity to spawn entire new worlds for us to experience.

For example, here is a screenshot from Darkfall, a competitive game set in a perpetual virtual world. Darkfall was created by a small group of Greek designers, and was published on a shoestring budget. The game is beautiful and engrossing. It is the kind of game that can suck people in and not let them go for years. Can there be any argument that this is anything but great art?

In contrast, here is a screenshot from Asher’s favorite game that he forces me to watch and sometimes even play with him. Every time I see this game, I die a little bit.

Mom, Dad – I am sorry for making you listen and give feedback on that wonderful band, New Kids on the Block. I am sorry for playing the Bengals, “Eternal Flame” over and over again, and singing along with it. I am sorry for trying to kill one of your great loves, music. If it is any consolation, the classical, jazz, folk, and world music genres combined in my ITunes are far larger than the rock genre.

4. If you are either a single parent, or a stay-at-home parent, whatever you do, DO NOT START FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELF. The life of a care-giver sucks. No one is going to contest that fact. You can put all the lipstick on that job you want, but it still sucks. There is no positive reinforcement, no intellectual stimulation, and never a moment for yourself, and almost everyone has some inkling of just how bad it is.

But if you start feeling sorry for yourself, the delicate illusion of cupcakes and petunias that our society pretends is the care-giver life, your whole world will come crashing down.

This evening, I was laying on the floor trying to keep myself happy. I mean, I have it good, not just good, great. My primary care-giver task is only 10 days long, and I have an army of people (who are more concerned for the well-being of Asher and Thor than for myself) ready to swoop in at a moment’s notice. I have a home, money, comfort, food, my care-giver circumstances are the best of the best. And yet, there I was laying on the floor close to tears because I knew that between now and next Tuesday I was not going to get more than 10 minutes to take care of myself.

I sat there on that precipice looking down into an incredibly soothing black abyss of depression and self-pity. I had all the excuses, all the problems, all of the reasons, all I had to do was take that step, make that call, and embrace the defeat.

What miracles do single parents and stay-at-home parents accomplish every day, simply by not giving up?

Thank you Mom and Dad. Thank you Mary. But most of all thank you Emily. You could have done anything with your life. I have no idea why you picked this, and even less of an understanding as to why you stick with it.

Day Three: Horror Movie in the Making

2010-05-18T00:41:00.000-07:00

Today was...interesting.
I got to bed at 12:00am (work again, no games). Both boys stayed down all night, or at least until I went to bed.

The only way I can describe the experience I had last night was like some strange cross between Clockwork Orange and the Shining. At 3:00am I startled awake, sure that I had heard something. I am a notoriously paranoid sleeper. Emily is always very careful to wake me, because I have lept out of bed at her, convinced she is trying to do something sneaky. One time, I even punched a room mate in the face who was trying to wake me up. I don't know why I do this, just weird me.

Add to this oddity that I have sleep apnea. This means I sleep with a clockwork orange-like mask at night that forces air into my nose and mouth so I don't suffocate myself (I know, TMA, but its necessary to set the stage).

So here I am, suddenly awake at 3am with my freaky star wars deathmask on. I know something is wrong, but I don't want to make any sudden movements because whatever danger is in the house thinks I am asleep, therefore I have the element of surprise until I move (yes, this is really how my mind works when I wake up unexpectedly).

Carefully feeling around, I find a warm body in bed with me. I am relieved, surely Asher or Luke simply wandered into our room, and woke me as they were getting into bed. I lift my head to confirm, and there is Asher lying next to me, wide awake, just looking at me. FREAKY!!! But at least he had left Emily's pajamas in his room.

So I scoot over a bit to give him room, and find another warm body, I look over and there is Thor lying on my other side, wide awake, just looking at me (now you see where the Shining comes in here). I felt an appropriate solution to this very awkward situation was to put both boys back in their room, get out the shotgun and lock my bedroom door, which I did.

As I lay there, unable to sleep, pondering the oddity of what had happened, I realized that both boys were awake before I woke up. Neither moved or said anything to me when I started moving around. Even now, just thinking about it gives me the heebie jeebies.

5:30.00am: "Hi dad, its light out. Do I have to go to school today?"
5:30.05am: "Dad, can I go play Hot Wheels?"
5:50.00am: "Dad, I need help, can you come play Hot Wheels with me?"
6:03.00am: "MOMMY!! Where are you Mommy?!"

Apparently we were all pretending like the freakshow of 3:00am never happend.

I am not sure what those two are strategizing, but I am fairly certain that I am not part of their 5-year plan. I would like to go to sleep tonight, but I am frightened of what they are going to do.

Going to work never felt so good, so safe.

Work is really blowing up bad. My boss wasn't kidding about going to LA this week. I am canceling the vacation days I was planning on taking wens - fri. We simply have more work, and too tight of deadlines for me to risk it. Even now it is 1:00am, I just finished the report thats due tomorrow, and have several more projects waiting that are due by the end of the week or early next week.

So if you are one of those gracious people who told me you would be willing to help, now would be a good time to not answer your phone. Seriously, I am going to have to pay someone to watch my kids later this week. If anyone wants to make some money, and doesn't have a criminal record that disallows them from being alone with children (Mark, this means you) give me a call, I will make it worth your while.

At least the Suns are having a rougher week than I am.

Daily Stats:
Bedtime: 8:00pm (I think I have this part down now)
Breakfast: 2 cold hot dogs for asher, and a mango. Thor - 1.5 banana muffins (he almost choked out on the other 0.5. I had to dig it out of his throat so he could resume breathing) After this close call Thor looked me with a puzzled expression for a few moments, as if something was seriously amiss, and then said, "thank you mommy" and wandered off to find something equally or more dangerous to put in his mouth. I guess, dads are not supposed to do the important things, like save you from choking on your breakfast.
Dinner: Mother-in-law provided another wonderful meal which everyone loved except Thor. Thor later on ate a bagel, cheese, and other assorted scavangings 5 minutes before I put him to bed (I think he is going to make a break for it tonight).

Quote of the day: "Asher, can I come to school with you on Wednesday?"
Asher's response: "Maybe. If you can be good from now until then we will see."

Most important number 12 - the number of times I told people what an amazing mother-in-law I have. She really is the best one I have ever had.

2010-05-16T22:16:00.000-07:00

Today was much better than the first day. I was up until 1am working on various projects (I kept telling myself I would have time to play games, but it never happened). Asher was up at 6:00am to play games. Both boys even slept through the night.

Of course, Asher has found some of Emily’s pajamas, and is sleeping with them….Disturbing….But hey, if it gets him through, who am I to judge.

Thor is another matter. He wakes up each morning and screams for mom until I come in. He then looks at me with the agriest David face he can muster and points a stern finger at me, “YOU NO MOMMY! YOU GO AWAY DAD!!” He then shrieks at the top of his lungs until I leave the room. He then resumes calling for Emily by various names until he craps himself, at which point he will let me come in and change his diaper.

As a side note, what is the deal with our parents getting after us about listening to music too loud? Thor screeching in my face is about twice the decibels of a Metallica concert. Its not like they didn’t know that was in our future. They probably just don’t like Metallica (heathans).

Church went well until Asher sprung from his seat announced in the middle of sacrament that he had to go to the bathroom and headed for the exit. I let him go figuring he is at an age where he can start doing that by himself. 5 minutes later I am getting a little concerned.

I head to the mens room and find the stall occupied by an adult male who probably now thinks I am creepy Minnesota politician gay. In the hall I am getting a little nervous until I hear Asher’s voice, “Yeah, my mom is gone.”

Finding the mens room occupied, Asher had helped himself to the women’s rest room, and made some friend in there. He was chatting it up with them while doing his business (Thanks Jamie).

After church we headed home and here I thought I had achieved a small victory. I memorialized the moment with this photo.

I was teaching Asher how to cook his own tortillas with the end goal that he can make his own bean burritos by the time Emily gets home. Asher was doing stellar work. I snapped this photo for the blog, and for Asher’s own edification. Moments later, mayhem erupted and a life almost ended. Can you guess why?

In photography classes they teach that the background of a photo is just as important, if not more important, than the subject, notice the background composition here.

That is Thor's little hand grabing a very large and very sharp knife. He proceeded to play Star Wars with the knife. He was delighted at how realistically Asher and I were participating in his Star Wars make-believe.

I did not let the boys nap today, we went to my Mother-in-laws for dinner and Thor fell asleep on the 4 minute drive. I woke him up when we arrive and carefully set him on the ground. He started walking like a drunk. I figured it was good practice for college, and a great chance for a funny family video.

I was fiddling with my phone, trying to get the video function to work, Thor was walking away from me on very unsteady feet. He then walks directly into the garage wall (Metallica concert ensues). It would have been an AFV 10k video if I was quicker on the draw.

2 days down, no deaths or permanent disfigurements, I think this is cause for celebration.

Daily Stats:
Bedtime: 8:00-9:00pm (keeping my fingers crossed)
Breakfast: I really don’t know if we did. I ran out of cheerios this morning, so things were dicey until lunch.
Lunch: bean burritos, strawberries and a knife fight.
Dinner: Provided by mother-in-law, it tasted great because I didn't have to make it (it was great anyway).
Number of phone calls from concerned relatives and friend: 8 (really guys, its probably going to be Wednesday before I am ready to resort to torture experimentation.
Number of time Thor asked for mom: 33
Quote of the day, “Dad, you are not as good at mom as mom is.” –Asher.

Right back at ya kid.

The Single Life - Day 1: Budding Artist and Exhibitionist

2010-05-15T16:39:00.000-07:00

As many of you know, Emily packed her bags on Friday and left us. Its not like we didn't expect it, She really deserves better than what we have to offer, but all the same, we are struggling with the transition.

We dropped her off at the airport so she could go see Rome and Austria with my sister and cousin. Thats right, a single dad for the next 10 days. I am going to chronicle my experience here, because anyone who knows me well, knows that this is going to be one clusterf**k of a week.

And for anyone who doubts the above, you should know that my mother and mother-in-law, both of whom I love dearly, and who love me (most of the time), have called, stopped by, offered to take the kids, invited me over for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and generally been available every step of the way. I am very appreciative of their care and support, but I am growing slightly suspicious of their opinions of my parenting skilz.

Background
This week is the culmination of a whole series of solo vacations Emily has taken this year. Between Exponent, Sunstone, and just plain ol vacations, she will have been gone for 16 of the past 75 days. I don’t mind. I am very happy that she is able to diversify her life, and excel at the things she wants to do. It would be pretty selfish of me to try and keep such a hot commodity all to myself.

That being said, every single time Emily leaves, I end up with some sort of massive time demand related to my work. I am an economics consultant, people hire the company I work for to solve problems and answer questions that no one else can answer. Typically we are a last resort, after people sue each other, and they need an expert to explain who is in the right and why, or how much damage was caused by one parties actions. Sprinkle in a fair amount of business valuation, and private equity investment analysis, and you have my life.

The job is great, the boss is great, but the predictability of work is horrible. I can go from having nothing to do, to working 18 hour days for a month literally with one phone call.

The correlation between work flair-ups and Emily’s absence is so strong, that I suggested to my boss that he pay for Emily to be permanently on vacation so that the office will always be busy.

With all of this, let me begin documenting my decent into my own personal hell – life as a single parent:

Day 1:
8:20 - We drop Emily off at the airport. Hugs and kisses, everything is cupcakes and roses.
8:23 – Luke is screaming bloody murder at the realization that his mother is getting on an airplane without him.
8:25 – Asher is screaming bloody murder because he is not getting on an airplane (with or without mom, preferably without).
8:27 – For a few brief moments I seriously consider running the minivan off the freeway and into the Salt River. Suicide/homicide voids my life insurance policy on the boys and myself – and knowing my luck I would kill them, but not myself, leading to even greater misery than that of a single parent.

I drop off the boys at my mother’s house, and head to work. Today is a major deposition for my boss, and he has been preparing all week. I need to be ready to answer any questions, or solve any problems that come up during the deposition as quickly as possible.

Deposition goes well, and at approximately 6:00pm I get a text from my boss, “We will likely need to be in LA next Wens…there is tons of work to do.” Yep, send Emily on vacation, the key to small business success. Even if I am lucky enough to be the guy who holds down the fort next week (ie not in LA), I am going to have to tend to all the other work we have going on. I was planning on taking off Wednesday to Friday to watch the boys.

Skip to evening. The boys are doing surprisingly well for their first night. Both are bathed, brushed and in bed by 8:00pm. By 8:30 both appear to be out for the night. At 10:30 they come into the movie room together complaining that, “there is no water in their rooms for them to drink.”

It was obvious that they were conspiring against me. They realized that I was a man down, and if they worked together they might actually be able to free themselves of the fascist tyrants who claim to love them, and wipe their asses for them.

I put them both to bed with water and a stern warning, then go back to the movie room. At 11:45 I am tuckered, and head to bed. When I get to my room, I hear some little boy noise coming from Asher’s room. I head in to find Asher sound asleep, and Thor, reading a book with his back to me.

I scoop Thor up, more than a little upset, and am shocked to see his face covered in red. In the dark light it looks like blood, but after a few nervous moments, I realize it is hot pink highlighter. I laugh, then I look up at the wall…I stop laughing. I turn around, I am getting angry, I go out in the hall, I am furious.

Pretty pink railroad tracks all over the walls,

and a jungle scene (or possibly a cowboy) on the chalkboard.

Thor knew his gig was up, when I put him in his crib, he didn’t complain a bit, time 11:59.

5:30.00 – “Dad, its light out, do I have to go to school today?”
5:30.05 – “Dad, get up, its light out.” (repeated until 5:35.00)

Asher is going strong at 5:30 am, Thor is up by 7:30, both are trying to back to sleep by 10:30.

The day is uneventful until late afternoon, when the lack of sleep and hard work is getting to me. I take the boys to the library to drop off Emily’s Europe travel DVDs. I pull up to the curb, and think to myself, “I can’t take everyone in, because we just went swimming, and Thor doesn’t have any pants on.”

“Asher, can you take these shows to the box?”
“Yeah dad.”

Too late, I realize it was Asher who wasn’t wearing any pants. I snapped this photo as he was getting back in the car.

I tried to get him to come back, but he wasn’t listening once he got out of the vehicle, and don’t you worry, at least 10 people were coming and going from the library while he meandered about depositing the DVDs in his tighty whiteys.

Day 1 stats:
Bedtime – 8:00pm to midnight
Breakfast – Cold hotdog and dry fruity cheerios
Lunch – PBJ for Asher, no idea if Thor ever ate anything
Dinner – Fruity Cheerios, bean burritos, and sour worms
Number of time Thor yelled my name while I wrote this: 22 (seriously)
Number of fights that broke out while I wrote this: 1

And the entirely qualitative measure, a photo of the kitchen after 24 hours of no mom.

Trainwreck incoming in 5…4…3…2…

Calling the Police

2010-04-29T16:17:00.001-07:00

So, I lost Luke for an hour yesterday.

Long story short, we were at a friend's house for lunch and it was delightful, and I remembered that their backyard wasn't totally fenced in after we sent the kids out with popsicles, but gosh, I was having such a good time with my friend, Liz, that I didn't think much about it. And then, we found him an hour later, perfectly safe albeit poopy, at the elementary school office 6 blocks away. (This will help you breathe as you read the rest of the post--trust me.)

More details include: I remember looking at my watch at 1:15 while the four kids played in the back and then, again around 1:30 and realized that now, there were only three kids. And, my heart sank because I remembered the backyard wasn't fenced in.

So, here's the thing about my Lukey-boy: he's very independent and he has no fear.

We went calling, and then, I went to the front of the house, jogged east to the end of the block, calling for him, jogged west to the end of the block calling for him, when Liz said, "I'm sure he didn't go that far" (because, you see, Liz has delightful, intelligent children who wouldn't go for a walk down a strange street, barefooted with a popsicle.).

Meanwhile, Liz kept calling for him at her house. Then, she started running through neighbors' houses, frantically explaining why she had to look in their pools RIGHT NOW because you see, we had the same biggest fear. I didn't think Luke was kidnapped. I was just sick that we wouldn't know anything until 5 pm when some poor family all came home from work and school and found his little body drowned in their pool.

Soon, we decided it was time to load up the remaining 4 children in our cars and drive; she went east and I went west down the street north of her's. I told her to say, "LUKE, POPSICLE?!" (because, you know, Luke doesn't often just answer to his own name and needs a little incentive to come)

I hit the elementary school up the street and saw that school would be getting out soon because the bus drivers were all lining up. I went to the first one I saw, and said, "My son is missing. He's 3, his name is Luke, and he's wearing a red shirt and no shoes. My cell phone is.... Can you let the other bus drivers know and call me if you hear anything?"

Now, I couldn't see where the heck the front office of this darn school was (though I thought of calling my friend, Christy, a teacher at the school even though she would have been in the middle of class so that she could tell me how to get in). So, I kept dialing 411 (3 times!), asking them to get me the number. They all insisted that every variation of the name of that school didn't exist in their directory. Sigh...

I drove back to Liz's, where we both hoped the other had found Luke. Then, I saw this woman, far away, trying to flag me down.

She was older and had walked out of a house that I thought was abandoned. She was crying and said, "Are you missing your boy?"

I said, "Yes, do you have him?," thinking she had pulled his dead body from her pool and was pretty shook up by it.

"No, but I saw a woman put a little boy walking down the street in her car. She asked me if he was mine, and when I said, 'No.' She said she'd take him to the elementary school."

So, I speed over to the school, ask that bus driver I talked to earlier how I get into the main office. She tells me, and I run in. Right before I get there, I see 2 teachers from Asher's preschool (one will be Luke's next year, my guess is they're both pointing to each other and saying, "Not It!"), and one of them said, "Wait, I recognize you! You're Asher's mom. Your other boy is in the office."

I was so happy.

Then, she continued, "I said to him, 'You're Asher's brother, right?'"

Luke's response, "No."

She said, "Wait, I remember your name. You're Luke, right?"

"No."

Good to know we're teaching him a few things around here, right?

So, I go into the office. Everyone is really nice. I said, "Oh, I was just going to call the police."

And, the office lady said, "Oh, we already did."

So, I had to talk to the cops while I held Luke, who of course, had pooped himself sometime ago during his adventure.

But, I have to say--no one yelled at me. I kept thinking, "Don't you want to yell at me because really, I've been yelled at for a lot less than this!"

So, I learned a couple things: don't trust Luke, not even for a second (much less 15 minutes), people won't yell at you about what a crummy job you're doing as a parent if you look desperate and upset enough, and after this experience, I have decided that when the zombies come, yeah, I want Liz to stick with me because seriously, I can't think of how she could have been more resourceful, helpful or comforting.

Strange Cravings

2010-04-28T19:08:00.000-07:00

Guess what's happening in (to?) our family in about six months?

Holding a Grudge

2010-04-28T18:27:00.000-07:00

In the back of the car last night on the way home from the gym...

Mom: Asher, we need to stop by Walgreens to get you more medicine. Remember when Luke poured out all your medicine on the kitchen counter today?

Asher: Yeah. Mom, that really hurt my feelings when Luke poured out my medicine on the counter.

WHAP! WHAP! WHAP!
Luke starts to cry

Mom: Asher, did you just hit Luke?!

Asher: Yeah, Mom.

Mom: Asher, why would you do that?!

Asher: But, Moom, he really, really hurt my feelings when he poured out my medicine on the counter.

Mom: But, Asher, that was FOUR HOURS ago!

Getting Our Money's Worth

2010-04-14T14:29:00.000-07:00

So, our morning routine hasn't been going so well lately...totally my fault.

The little boys and I rush to be ready on time, and well, we were never on time, probably because we just didn't have much structure surrounding what needed to be done--eating breakfast, brushing teeth, cleaning rooms and making beds (which I usually did by myself after Asher was at school), and chores? Yeah, Asher had no idea what "chores" were.

I made a chore chart a couple weeks ago for each boy. I still do Asher's chore with him, but the rest he does on his own (including picking out his own clothes, which makes for some interesting outfits).

Asher is amazing at this! Getting to put a sticker on each box and the promise of $1 at the end of the week is all the motivation he has needed thus far.

Luke, on the other hand? Well, we don't get to Luke's chores most days, and it doesn't feel like he's accomplishing much since I'm still doing the dressing and teeth brushing. But, maybe Luke will grow into the chart. (Although, I would SO give him a sticker for his "Helping Mom" chore if he'd take a nap--can't get more helpful than that!)

I always find it helpful when other parents post what expectations they have for their kids around chores. So, here's our charts for those who are interested:

Asher's Chore Chart
Luke's Chore Chart

We're still not anymore on time for preschool, but at least, Asher is starting to take a little more responsibility for his morning routine.

Asher's Ideas for April Fool's Day

2010-04-01T11:20:00.000-07:00

"Let's trick Dad and cut down the tree into little pieces."

"What if we took ALL the food out of the refrigerator?"

Oh, if only I had that much energy!

The Love of Broadway Musicals Continues...

2010-03-29T15:47:00.001-07:00

Asher has found a new favorite song on my iPod. I like to think he likes it because of its peppy tune and witty lyrics, but I worry that he may like it because Annie and Frank have a relationship like Asher's mom and dad--except Asher's mom and dad don't sing nearly as well.

Our last Broadway family favorite: http://clydecurtisfam.blogspot.com/2009/01/life-is-cabaret-old-chum_26.html

Luke to the rescue!

2010-03-21T21:27:00.000-07:00

Today, I was running from Nate and Asher, who thought it was really fun to pin me down and tickle me.

I shouted, "Luke, Luke, come and help me!"

Luke came running, "Mommy, I'm coming! What is it? Monsters, lions?"

Scenes from a Marriage: Chores and Guilt

2010-03-20T13:55:00.000-07:00

Emily: Nate, that mop you got is awesome!
Nate: Oh, good.

a little later in the day

Emily: Nate, that mop makes it so easy to mop the floor!
Nate: Oh, good.

that night

Emily: Seriously, have I told you how great that mop is?
Nate: Emily, I get the hint. I'll mop the floor, ok?
Emily: Oh, maybe that was a little Freudian, but seriously, I just wanted to tell you how rock star the new mop is.

Clearly, I'm getting a little too excited about new cleaning products.

Happy Birthday, Lukey-boy

2010-03-20T13:51:00.000-07:00

Pros of having your kids' birthdays nine days apart:
1) sometimes, you can combine a park date birthday party for them (like we did last year)
2) you get all the birthdaying done in one month
3) you're sure the kids are getting the same amount of stuff because you're buying it all at the same time

Cons
1) you have to do all the birthdaying done in one month
2) you have to do two parties when you realize the kids are getting confused and fight over who's birthday it REALLY is
3) you know exactly how much each kid gets and realize that #2's $10 of sand toys doesn't equal #1's 2 video games--though the enjoyment they'll get is the same.
4) the second birthday celebratee has a slightly more burned-out mom planning his events (so, she plans on doing a petting zoo birthday party, really, she does. After all, we did a big train party for #1 when he turned 3. But, Mom can't get it together and decides to have a "party" during our normally scheduled playgroup instead.)

For Luke's family party, we had grilled pizza, yellow train cakes with chocolate frosting, and lots of fun as Luke couldn't believe his good luck--a train cake, sand toys, small trucks, a dog shirt, and jungle animals? He was especially tickled to learn that we were singing Happy Birthday to him instead of to Asher.